What I love #3: You don’t just listen – you DO. And keep doing.
Finally, you don’t just look at yourself, your mistakes, and what you can do differently—you actually do it. Even when it is difficult, you do it. You stick with it. You go back, look at what worked and what didn’t, and try again.
That takes courage—especially when you don’t see quick responses from the other person. Although I hope that as you keep going you do see those responses, in most cases!
Over the years, people have asked “How can you keep doing all these research projects? They take so much time… so much money … so much emotional effort. Why don’t you just stick with the research you’ve already done? Why do you keep going?”
My answer is simple: all of you. As you know, I’m not a therapist or a counselor – I’m an average semi-confused spouse and parent, just like you. I am inspired by how YOU respond, and it makes me want to learn and grow even more. To study the things we don’t “get” and pass them along.
This Valentine’s Day, thanks for making me want to do that.
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Shaunti Feldhahn loves sharing eye-opening information that helps people thrive in life and relationships. She herself started out with a Harvard graduate degree and Wall Street credentials but no clue about life. After an unexpected shift into relationship research for average people like her, she now is a popular speaker and author of best-selling books about men, women and relationships. (Including For Women Only, For Men Only, and the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage).
Her newest book, The Kindness Challenge demonstrates that kindness is the answer to pretty much every life problem, and is sparking a much-needed movement of kindness across the country. Visit www.shaunti.com for more.
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