How Your Husband Feels When You’re Too Tired For Sex

How Your Husband Feels When You’re Too Tired For Sex October 16, 2018

As Leslie settled into bed, more than ready for a good night’s sleep, Todd walked into the bedroom and gave her “the look” she knew so well—the sly grin and twinkle in his eye that meant he had romance on his mind. Leslie tried not to let a sigh slip out. After running afternoon carpool, juggling karate and ballet lessons, making dinner, helping with homework, and returning work emails, she was so exhausted that she had zero interest in sex. She just wanted to go to sleep without Todd trying to start something. But she knew from experience that he would get upset if she told him to please leave her alone. It’s nothing personal! she thought, I’m just… so… tired.

As a perpetually exhausted wife and mother, you might feel the same way some nights—or even most nights. For the sake of Leslie’s marriage—and yours—I want to provide some perspective that our tired female brains sometimes completely miss.

It might seem that putting dear hubby off for another night isn’t that big of a deal. As Leslie puts it, it isn’t personal. In other words… we women tend to think that, for him, sex is primarily a physical need. In the same way that sleep is a physical need! Right? Well, actually, for him…. no. It’s much more than that.

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