Male-Bashing: It’s All In Good Fun. Right?

Male-Bashing: It’s All In Good Fun. Right? October 24, 2018

Our staff meets weekly at a local cafe. I love the breakfast food, the kind servers, and the familiarity of our home office away from home. Recently, though, I saw this new sign posted near the back wall to help customers find the bathrooms … and my heart sank.

It seemed funny, at first. Then the impact sunk in.

Seeing the sign reminded me of a time I was heading to the airport to speak on a Christian women’s cruise. (Hardship duty, I know.) On the radio, a woman on a bank commercial was saying something like, “Girl, I don’t have time to worry about my banking. I mean, I have two kids — well, three if you count my husband!”

Having spent so many years on the research for For Women Only, and having seen the surprisingly sensitive hearts that beat inside the men and boys in our lives, it made me mad. Why is it okay to bash men?

When I boarded the cruise and first spoke at a workshop for about 500 women, I mentioned that radio ad. It was fresh on my mind, and a concrete example of how our culture so easily disrespects men, and how painful it is to our men. That night, I gave a different talk to the entire boat of about 1500 women. As I left the stage, the singer for the evening walked on. The first words out of her mouth? “I’m so happy to be with you all! My name is so-and-so, I’m from such-and-such city, and I’ve got three kids — four if you count my husband.”

You could hear a third of the crowd gasp, as the oxygen was sucked out of the room. Right in front of us, we witnessed how easily — without thinking about it — we can make “jokes” that are actually cruel and male-bashing. Even in the church. Even from a wonderful, godly leader.

How should we respond to these remarks? What is the impact on the men in our lives? Keep reading for more.

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  • Bryan Jones

    Shaunti, did you say anything to the cafe owner about this? Have you or your staff boycotted the cafe, or do you still meet there?

  • Men are different and will respond or not respond differently to comments and signs and the like. Overall though the average man instead of stepping up as a response to this culture of marginalizing men will actually step back. He will disengage just a little bit more and over time a pattern will build of emotional and mental and physical and spiritual aloofness.
    But good news for women and especially wives, your words of admiration and respect stomp out and minimize all the clutter out there. Your man will most likely step up and engage if he hears genuine words of respect. Go for it and give it a try.