As I’ve interviewed and surveyed tens of thousands of men over the last 18 years, I’ve seen such a common and important pattern: Most men have a deep, abiding desire to do good things—to be a husband who can make his wife happy, or be the type of analyst who can save the company money—yet they secretly doubt themselves. So there is a profound impact on a man’s heart when someone trusts him to do something well . . . and then notices when he does.
And perhaps the most intense example of this is when a man is affirmed as a father.
In this weekly blog, we are in the middle of a series about the most important marriage advice for newlyweds. Technically, today’s piece honors Father’s Day and is not a part of the series . . . yet it really is. Because even among the most newly of wedded couples, who aren’t parents yet, understanding this one fact about men has the potential to breathe life into a marriage for all the years to come. (And yes, men need to know some meaningful secrets about women, too . . . but that’s a different blog!)
Just to state it again, here’s the secret for every woman to know: there is great power in trusting and cheering on your man in the little daily things of life—especially in his little daily actions as a father. As one man told me in an interview, “I think down deep, I just need to hear ‘You’ve done good.’”