Guys, we know you want to make your wife happy. It is a huge motivator for you. But here’s a key truth: the things that make you happy are probably not the same things that make your wife happy.
You are thrilled with togetherness and sex. For your wife, those are good things – but what she most needs is to connect with you in actual conversation and to be reassured of your love each day.
In talking with Monica, here’s what I heard: after the emotional high of the wedding, their life together had settled into days of work, evenings of chores and home projects, and weekends of errands and more home projects. She felt like she rarely saw the guy who used to love having her come with him to Home Depot, just to wander the aisles and pick out the right hardware for the kitchen cabinets. Now Dave would come home, disappear into whatever corner of their fixer-upper he was working on, and only reappear for dinner and bedtime. What happened to the guy who took her on her first balloon ride, made sure they went out to do something together at least once a week, and called her during his lunch break just to say hi?
In talking to Dave, what I heard was, “But… well… we’re married now!” In his mind, those phone calls or weekly evenings out were no longer needed, because his wife knew how much he loved her. Because they were married.
Guys, here’s the big surprise for most men: getting married doesn’t miraculously make your wife feel permanently loved. Instead, she needs your attention every day.