After hearing yet another variation on the “not tonight, dear, I have a headache,” Dan turned over and tried to go to sleep. Disappointed and frustrated, he wondered why he always had to be the one to initiate sex, and when he did, his wife was frequently less than enthusiastic or altogether uninterested. Even though the question “Will we have sex tonight?” crossed his mind just about every day, when he made romantic advances his wife often seemed caught by surprise, as if she was totally unprepared for the possibility of romance. In every other way their relationship was great, but Dan was starting to wonder what he could do to make himself more desirable so his wife would be more attracted to him and more interested in sex.
Sound familiar? It just might, if you’re experiencing the same frustration with your sex life. To me, this sounds like the typical married male who wants more sex than he gets. (Ladies, if you have the higher drive in your marriage, check out our special article series “When She Has the Stronger Sex Drive.”) The good news is that if Dan’s wife and your wife are like most other women, this likely has nothing to do with your attractiveness or desirability!
Let’s take a look at how how men and women differ in this important area of married life.