The Two Words Your Husband Really Needs to Hear: Thank You

Saying “thank you” makes your husband feel cared for.

Well, it works the same way for guys, but for them, their “love” is appreciation. In my surveys of the happiest couples for my book The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages, I found that one of the things these couples do differently is that they’ve found the little day-to-day things that make the other person feel cared for. And believe it or not, what makes a guy feel the most cared for is when his wife notices something he has done and sincerely thanks him for it. (“Thank you for mowing the lawn even though it was so hot outside.” “Thank you for taking the kids this morning and letting me sleep in.”)

That seems like such a little thing to us women, but nearly all men on the survey said it was important, with 72% of men saying they were deeply impacted by it. Why? Because a man’s greatest desire is to do something well—but since he doubts himself, his greatest need is for what he does to be noticed and appreciated.