Mystery Solved: 3 Things You Never Understood About How Your Wife Thinks

#2 You Can Usually Close Windows That Are Bothering You. She Usually Cannot.

Imagine that you’re trying to focus on one thought or problem, and suddenly another thought or worry tries to intrude. What do you do? If you’re like most men, you simply click the “x” to close that annoying window so you can focus on the first one. If your wife is like most women, that doesn’t work. According to our surveys, she probably can’t just “close out” windows that are bothering her. Instead, she probably needs to take some action to resolve it.

Suppose your wife arrives home from work, upset because her boss embarrassed her in front of the team. It really upset her, and she’s wondering what things are going to be like when she goes in tomorrow. Is her colleague going to be on her side? Is her boss going to do it again? Did anyone see the tears that leaked from her eyes? She ponders it several times during the evening. Now you know: This is an “open window” that is bothering her.

You love your wife. You are worried about how upset she is. So you might say, “Honey, since you can’t do anything about it until tomorrow, just don’t think about it.”

You are trying to be helpful and caring! But what you’re saying is “Just click the ‘x’ and close the window.” And she has no idea what you are talking about. In most cases, she can’t just decide to “not think about it.” That is not how her brain is wired. She has to take some action to resolve it.

And here’s where you can start to get major brownie points.