#3. You Will Make Her Feel Loved If You Say, “Is This An Open Window? I’m So Sorry. Is There Something That Would Make You Feel Better?”
Guys, the next time you find yourself wanting to say, “Just don’t think about it” or, “Just don’t let it bother you,” stop. Stop, and think to yourself, “This is my chance to make her feel loved.” And instead say, “Is this an open window? I’m so sorry. Is there something that you want to do here, that would make you feel better?”
You are recognizing an open window that will be flashing at her until she takes action. And instead of making her feel a bit silly for wanting to do something that would make her feel better, you now have the opportunity to encourage her to do that if she wants to.
“Would doing something tonight make you feel better?”
“Well . . . yeah. I was thinking I wanted to text Jessica and ask what she thought about that incident, and whether I should send my boss an email tonight. It might be good to get on top of it and ask to speak to him first thing before we start our meetings tomorrow morning.”
“If that would make you feel better about the situation, I think you should totally do it. It’s a good idea.”
As long as you are being sincerely supportive (including offering adjustments if you think her idea needs some tweaking), this simple action on your part is doing something profound: it is sharing her load. It is showing her love and helping her with something that is causing her distress. And it is making her really, really grateful for you.
THAT is why we have so many men come up to us at our events with that bemused, grateful look on their faces. They are completely bemused that a) this is true and b) that it matters so much! And they are grateful that they have a chance to show their wives how much they love them.
Guys, this is such a simple thing. Ask your wife if it matters. And if it does—enjoy.
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Shaunti Feldhahn loves sharing eye-opening information that helps people thrive in life and relationships. She herself started out with a Harvard graduate degree and Wall Street credentials but no clue about life. After an unexpected shift into relationship research for average people like her, she now is a popular speaker and author of best-selling books about men, women and relationships. (Including For Women Only, For Men Only, and the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage).
Her latest book, Find Peace: A 40-day Devotional Journey For Moms, focuses on discovering biblical direction to become a woman of serenity and delight in all seasons – and have impact for generations to come.
Visit www.shaunti.com for more.
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