Part 4 — Your Husband Just Lost His Job: How to Respond

Tip #8: Partner With Your Man To Imagine And Then Create A New Future Together

The end of a job can be a cloud that holds a silver lining. Although you might not say it at the outset, many couples have come to realize that sometimes a reboot can be a good thing.

Many couples in our research for Thriving in Love & Money indicated that although it was incredibly painful to have gone through a job loss, they eventually looked back and recognized that it led to something beautiful that would not have happened otherwise.

My husband Jeff certainly has that story. After growing up in a rural area, graduating high school, and joining his brothers for seven years in owning a restaurant, the economy went south and they had to close. All their money was lost. It was devastating. But without having to work 80-hour weeks in the restaurant it also meant he could go to college . . . and a few years later, against all odds, that farm boy from a small town in Michigan was walking into Harvard Law School.

Now, Jeff wasn’t yet married (we met in his final year), but the principle is the same: God can and usually does take something that seems so dark and dead-end-like, and turn it into a new path that you never could have imagined.

So together, once you are past the initial stages of shock and grief, use this externally imposed change to your advantage. Take some time to re-visit your shared values, hopes, and dreams. Maybe you’re 10 or 20 years into your life together and things are running on autopilot. Now that you’ve been pushed out of the routine and flow of day-to-day life, use the time-out to consider your future. What do you want the rest of your life to look like? Consider schedule, responsibilities, stress level, financial plans. Make adjustments that will benefit each of you individually, as well as your marriage and the family as a whole. Connect (or re-connect) as a couple for some purposeful planning. And then start putting your plans into action.