Four Phrases Your Wife Would Love To Hear From You

Phrase #4: “I’m so sorry that happened. How did that feel?”

Most men would rephrase the question like this: “I’m so sorry that happened. Here’s what I suggest you do.” Men are wired to fix things. But as my husband Jeff and I wrote in For Men Only, “How she feels about the problem is the problem.” Supporting your wife doesn’t mean that you try to remove whatever caused the pain—at least not immediately. For most women (although not all), removing the pain is Step 2. Step 1 is helping her talk through all those jangling feelings she’s dealing with. Because of the way the female brain is wired, that is what will reduce the pain most. After a few minutes, you’ll see her tension ease as she feels heard and cared for. Then you can move on to Step 2 to solve the problem if needed. But most importantly, she’ll feel understood.

So the next time you’re searching for just the right words to make you wife feel cared for, try one of these four phrases based on what the situation calls for. Your wife will appreciate the thought and the intentions behind the words. She’ll hear your heart. And she’ll feel loved by the most important person in her life—you.

Find Christ-focused wonder in the midst of everyday life no matter what your situation might be. Pick up a copy of Shaunti’s latest devotional, Find Joy, available in major bookstores.

Check out her latest book (co-authored with her husband, Jeff), Thriving in Love and Money. Because you need a better relationship, not just a better budget.

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