Cheering Dads in the Daily Things

A protective dad

Not long ago, a great “dad incident” went viral in both video and the press. According to a Wall Street Journal piece, Jacob Kingsley is a big Cincinnati Reds fan and wanted to bring his 11-month-old son to his first game. His wife Jordan was extremely nervous (Could the baby be hurt? Could he be hit by a foul ball?) but Jacob promised he would be ultra-vigilant and she agreed because she knew it meant a lot to her husband. Yet she was still twitchy at the game (“Are you watching? Are you watching?”). Suddenly, as Jacob was bottle-feeding the baby in a front carrier, a foul ball flew straight toward them and he thought, ‘OK, this is my time. I gotta step up.” While protecting the baby with his body, and holding the bottle with his left hand, he reached out and grabbed the ball with his right.

If you watch the video, you can see the look of profound horror on his wife’s face as the ball rockets toward them, and then her intense astonishment and pride in what he did. He told the reporter, “My wife was pretty shocked. She was pretty impressed. I think I won some points with her.”

Every man I have shown this video to has said the same thing: having been a hero for his wife probably meant more to this man than she will ever know. One man pointed out: “Did that dad say, ‘I can’t wait for my buddies at work to see this? I can’t wait for the guys I went to high school with to see this?’ No, he said ‘I think my wife was impressed.’ I don’t think women have any idea how much of what we do is in the hope of impressing our wives.”

My husband, Jeff, pointed out something else: “His wife was nervous but she trusted him when he said he would protect the baby. And he didn’t let her down. That’s what every guy wants to do, if given the chance.”

And that, in fact, is what most men—most dads—actually do in thousands upon thousands of little everyday moments. But because those moments are not caught on video, the only way he can be affirmed that he’s “done good” is if someone tells him so. Which requires trusting him and giving him the chance to be a hero to begin with. Now, men aren’t perfect, just as we aren’t perfect, and some will, sadly, be irresponsible and uncaring. But most dads intensely love their kids and work hard to be the dad they need—and the husband their wife needs.

Jacob Kingsley did something amazing and his action got millions of views. But he was just taking the same protective, loving actions millions of other dads do without celebration. At least . . . without celebration from a viral social media post. But we can celebrate them. We can say “thank you.” We can tell them they “done good.” All day. Every day. In the little things that they do simply because they are being an everyday hero called “Dad.”

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