Why Does My Wife Expect Me to Read Her Mind?

Why Does My Wife Expect Me to Read Her Mind? July 18, 2022

Recently, we tackled “How to read your wife’s mind.” This time, we tackle the question of why your wife might expect you to read her mind in the first place! These articles are part of our ongoing initiative to equip engaged and newlywed couples. Please pass it along to someone who might find it helpful! Or sign up to receive these research-based weekly tips yourself.


Why does my wife or girlfriend expect me to know what she’s thinking? This is the question asked by many a puzzled or frustrated man in our interviews over the years.

You got her jewelry for her birthday when what she really wanted was a movie night out with her friends. She wanted you to take the kids to the playground on Saturday morning so she could sleep in after a hard week at the hospital, but never actually told you so. She really, really wanted you home early for dinner but you took a late meeting because you didn’t know it mattered.

So now she is sad and you’re frustrated. Why does she not just tell you certain things? Why does she expect you to read her mind? If you’ve been puzzled (or irritated) by those questions, read on. After 18 years of research with more than 20,000 women, including multiple nationally-representative surveys, we have identified four crucial truths that will help you understand this—and what to do about it.


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