Why does my man try to carry all the groceries in at once?

Factor #1: It’s a challenge—and he can beat it

Although there are exceptions, for a lot of women the related question is, “Why would anyone take the risk of having all the groceries crash to the ground?” It is immensely puzzling—even exasperating!

So here’s the first and most important answer we heard: as one man put it, “But the point is that I won’t let everything crash to the ground. That I can do this.” The lure of somehow managing to carry in everything at once is all about a desire to tackle a challenge—and master it.

Why? Why does that matter?

Secretly, there’s something in the heart of a man that is always doubting himself. You usually don’t see that insecurity but it is there, in at least 75% of men on our surveys. So to overcome that insecurity, a guy subconsciously looks for opportunities to set before himself a challenging task and beat it. This is especially appealing where he knows the risk of failure is low—he’s in front of his wife, not the review committee at work. Successfully balancing 15 boxes of crackers and fruit and getting them all inside safely is his day’s version of climbing Pike’s Peak. There’s a rush of energy as feel-good endorphins and hormones like dopamine flood his brain; a rush that comes with the sense that he’s “done good.”

This is the same reason that back in the pre-GPS day a guy would never want to ask for directions, preferring to tackle the wilds of the urban jungle with just his wits and mental compass. Or why your man today might be trying to keep alive a daily Fitbit streak of going to the gym 60 minutes a day—even though it always makes him have to rush to work. Or why he’s being prickly about your requests to get rid of that old car in the garage because gosh darn it, he’s going to get it up and running again.

He is seeking a chance to push himself. Sometimes, doing the hard things is the path to greatness—no pain, no gain. This is his chance to confront a challenge head-on . . . and emerge triumphant.