Creating great relationships doesn’t take rocket science!
When Jeff and I investigate key factors that improve relationships, we’re essentially just digging out the truths that are “hidden in plain sight” and showing that it matters and why it matters. But once you know that stuff—you can help yourself. And that fact changes everything.
For example, perhaps you are feeling caught in a hard relationship cycle of unhappiness or arguments that seems a bit hopeless. Feeling like it is going to take two years of counseling to get to the bottom of it. But often, it is simply because you’re doing the same damaging thing over and over again—without realizing that it’s damaging! Or even that you’re doing it!
At one event, after I shared some key truths about men from my research, including about their hidden worries and self-doubts, a woman came up to me at the book table. Looking a bit shell-shocked, she said, “I had been so mad at my husband when he would say ‘Fine, you handle the kids’ rather than stepping up and helping. But until just now, I also had no idea that my husband was probably questioning every day whether he measured up as a father or a husband. I can totally see how I have completely shut him down by constantly, constantly questioning why he did this with the girls, or telling him he should have done it some other way. I wasn’t just letting him be a dad who loves his daughters and will parent differently.”
Once you have some simple but crucial knowledge, often you see a clear, simple way forward. Then you make a few key changes—and everything changes.
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