Do: Focus on small actions rather than grand plans
The foundation for a date night is laid days in advance. And I’m not talking about getting the perfect dinner reservations at the perfect time ahead of the perfect showtime for the perfect movie. Instead, set yourself up for enjoying one another and your time together by purposefully doing simple, little things that speak love, affection, and appreciation to your spouse in the days leading up to the date. (Of course, we can always be doing these things, but sometimes a prompt helps!)
Our research for The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages revealed that some of the impactful “little things” are different for men and women.
For the wives reading this, here are two of the research-based “fantastic five” actions I share in the book that deeply impact most men (72% for both, in our survey):
- Notice what he does and sincerely thank him for it. (“Thank you for figuring out how to get our Wi-Fi working faster.”)
- Mention what he did well, in front of others. (“Mom, did I tell you that he took the kids to their activities all week while I wasn’t feeling well….?”)
For the husbands reading this, here are two of the “fantastic five” things that are likely to deeply impact your wife:
- Take her hand when you’re out walking or heading from the car to church (82% of all women are deeply pleased by this).
- Tell her sincerely, “You look beautiful” (which deeply pleases 76% of all women).
See? simple.
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