How To Stop Being a Snowplow Parent – Part 1

Step #3: Slow our own pace (rather than doing it for them “because it’s quicker”)

This final point for this week comes to you deep from the heart of a fellow high-capacity parent. Some of us are in a hurry, and don’t leave “parenting margin” in our lives. So we get annoyed when our kids fail or have a problem that slows us down, because it impacts our schedule too.

Think about it this way. When our child was little, it was indeed faster for us to tie their shoes in the morning. But we knew it was so important for that little mind and those little fingers to try it themselves. So we forced ourselves to let our child fumble and try, even though the clock was ticking. And then perhaps maybe we learned the object lesson that we needed to allow an extra ten minutes in the morning, so that we had time for the fumbling and wouldn’t have to jump in. After all, we know allowing our child to do it on their own is so important and will be much better for them in the end.

It’s the same thing ten years later when that same child is struggling in English class. Instead of hurrying things up by rewriting the paper for them, we need to allow the margin to make suggestions and then let them do the rewriting. Allowing our child to do it on their own will be much better for them in the end.

So, what do you think? If you’re like me, you’ve probably already got a list of “but what about ___!?” questions. Yes, there will be many situations in which our kids aren’t yet ready for full freedom – and yet we still need to back off the temptation to snowplow. We’ll tackle that next week in Part 2.

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