Method #3: Tune out the Trolls
Years ago I wrote a point-counterpoint syndicated newspaper column. (Back when newspapers existed! Remember those?) It was a spirited weekly debate between me – a Christian wife and mom – and my single, progressive, agnostic counterpart.
I took a lot of hits in those days. Some critics were so mad at my Christian-oriented views that they attacked me personally. It. Was. Brutal. My concentration was on the trolls, not on my book deadlines, my kids, or the friendships I could have been enjoying. I constantly found myself checking what was coming in. I was constantly wondering, “What are they saying now?”
Thankfully, my husband Jeff saw the major freak-out in progress. He saw how it was hurting my heart. He stepped in and asked me to trust him to read all the emails and comments instead of me. He would take all that flak, and share something only if he thought I really needed to know it.
His protection allowed me to step back and learn something that Nehemiah in the Old Testament learned, too: it is a trap to engage with toxic critics who are not looking to engage in good faith. I learned that I could (and should) listen to sincere questions and respectful critics, absorb necessary lessons, and change my opinions and practices where needed. But I couldn’t remain productive in my calling if I kept absorbing a steady diet of toxic criticism.
This is so crucial for all of us. If someone on your social media feed is mostly just looking to stir the pot, don’t fall into that trap. Take the ten minutes you would have spent responding – and the hours of back-and-forthing that that might lead to! – and stay laser focused on what God has called you to do.
Allowing the angry opinions of others to steal our hope (and stimulate a freak-out) distracts us from the very good work God is calling each of us to do.
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