Inadequacy
This may go against every assumption you have about the male ego, but here goes. Rather than having a big ego and feeling like he is “all that,” your husband may be feeling inadequate. We covered in my last blog how the heart cry of a woman tends to be “Am I loveable?” But the heart cry of most men is “Am I able? Do I measure up?”
For men, imposter syndrome is always right there, at chin level. For some men, it’s at eye level! Feelings of inadequacy rise up far more often than we realize.
So, if men are at work all day slaying dragons (or trying to) but then come home feeling like they don’t parent right, can’t sort the laundry lights and darks right, and are getting reminded for the 17th time that they haven’t even done a task (much less haven’t done it right), they will feel the weight of not measuring up. What a wife might offer as just a suggestion or sincere desire to “help” (“you should have done it this way”) is often nicking a man’s deepest nerve. (Oof. Does that sound familiar.)
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In