Step #2: ‘Hug the porcupine!’
Guys, here’s where things get interesting. When she seems to pull away during a conflict, she may not actually want space; she may want a hug. In other words, she may want you to follow her.
Confusing, right?
This is when you have to do something that may not come naturally. At one weekend marriage event where we were speaking, Jeff was encouraging the men to ask their wives if what they really wanted in an argument was reassurance and a hug. One man in the audience blurted out, “You mean hug the porcupine?!” Laughter rippled through the audience as women nodded, clapped and said, “YES!”
I may seem hard to pursue your wife in the turmoil, but just ask her (at some non-emotional time) if that is what she truly wants. She may confirm that she may seem prickly, but that with a big bear hug she will just melt.
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In