Step 3: Say the ‘magic phrase.’
Acknowledging our child’s feelings proves we are listening and provides comfort and validation. A recent article in Psychology Today suggests a practical phrase to show this: I see you’re upset right now. I’m here for you.
After all, think about when you are stressed or overwhelmed. Do you like when your spouse or your friends jump right past how you’re feeling and offer solutions? Or do you feel better when there is an acknowledgement that you are upset, and that’s it’s okay to be upset?
Kids are no different. In fact, validating their feelings is probably even more pivotal. Children are learning about this vast world with brains and bodies that are still growing. Knowing that their big, scary feelings are heard, and … okay? What a relief. (And this goes beyond what we can cover here but feeling heard will also help them hear you if you do need to raise issues about—for example—not letting their feelings run their life.)
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