Expectation #3: I’m marrying the next Top Chef!
His bold assumption (and we are saying this out loud because lots of men won’t—even when the expectation is buried in there somewhere): My wife will be this amazing cook and will love being in the kitchen.
Reality: More than likely, one or all of three things will happen, especially if both of you work full time: You’ll trade off cooking, neither of you will be super-excited about having to prepare meals (especially after a long workday) and neither of you will prepare meals like the food creators on TikTok.
What to do: Consider whether a meal subscription service or some other creative solution is the way to go—especially to avoid subconsciously expecting your wife to do more of the meal work. Now, some of you just automatically resisted that idea, and thought to yourself, “Yeah, but that’s expensive and we shouldn’t have to do that!” But stop and remember the point behind this blog: Is the word “should or shouldn’t” setting you up for dashed expectations in your relationship? Before you reject the idea, consider who you are actually married to. Did your wife grow up learning to cook? Does she even like it? Was your mom amazing in the kitchen—and now you’re placing that expectation on your wife? Ask yourself lots of questions, give her space to be honest about her expectations, and be willing to get creative on this one.
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