
4. “I’m really vulnerable right now.”
In my research, many men have told me there is no time that’s more insecure, scary and vulnerable than when they initiate intimacy.
They are essentially laying their “desirability” and their heart in front of you and asking, “what do you think of me?” Without realizing it, when we are tired or just not in the mood, it is easy to brush our man off in a way that cuts that vulnerable heart deeply. To be clear, there will of course be times when it just isn’t the right time for connection. Our needs matter, too!
But when that happens, it is especially critical that we reassure our man that we’re not rejecting him. He just went out on a limb to lay his heart in front of you. With a wink, a raincheck, and the reassurance that you love him, you can help the limb not snap.
If challenges, mismatches, or frustration seem to surround your sex life, you and your spouse may find the hope and healing you need in our book Secrets of Sex & Marriage.
We conducted the largest nationally representative study ever conducted with married couples about sex, so we hope you’ll not only see yourself in the pages and stories, but will also find actionable, doable steps that help you get on the same page and create a thriving intimate life.
And don’t forget: check out our newest podcasts, with J Parker for higher desire wives, and with renowned sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma to answer many common sex-related questions!

Improve your relationships with simple, actionable steps backed by proven research! Visit
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