To My Readers in Europe

You have better things to do than read my cranial excretions, such as eating Milka bars, going to Church in the undoubtedly gorgeous cathedral at the center of your city, or watching soccer. But since — by the edict of some strange and masochistic god — you are instead reading this blog, I have a request.

I am currently studying in Europe, and I plan to travel quite a bit. Your food is delicious and cheap, but your hotels are neither — and your hostels are often full.

If any of you trans-Atlantic superheroes would be at all interested in letting myself and a friend crash on your couch/floor/porch for a night or two, I would be sincerely grateful. Think of it in terms furthering the education of the young, broadening the narrow scope of the American middle-class, or sheltering the momentarily homeless.

Places I am particularly enthusiastic about seeing include:

Rome on the day of the canonization of Blessed John Paul II, the South of France, Paris, Barcelona, and London. I am open, however, to wherever. I would probably spend — at most — 2-3 days at any given location.

I cannot offer much in exchange for this kindness. I am willing to speak on any topic, but my foreign language talents cumulate in a plodding French, so I understand that this is a limited offer. Other life skills you could utilize include dishwashing and other house-cleaning chores, basic drywalling, drinking, reading to children (not while drinking) and very short book reviews.

If you’re interested, please email me at [email protected]. And thanks to all my readers for being patient, kind, slow to anger and such!