7 Quick Takes Friday, plus The Inappropriate Comment of the Day!

#7

Not-So-Little-Liam

is six months old today! It’s crazy how time flies. I can’t believe how old he is. 

I’m not sure if it’s the fact that Liam is the most cheerful, adorable, sweet-tempered, cuddly and delightful baby I’ve ever seen or if I’ve finally grown to love mothering newborns instead of feeling fettered by them, but he’s the first of my children who I truly want to stay as he is. Forever. At every age and every stage I think, “Oh I wish he could stay like this!” It’s odd, but comforting. I’m glad to know that there’s not something fundamentally wrong with my soul, since I usually feel awkward when friends gush about their newborns. I’ve always sort of gritted my teeth and gotten through the baby months. Nine months on are the golden times for me. I really don’t think there is an age after nine months that I haven’t loved. Even the terrible twos, which really are terrible.

But it’s been different this time around. I hope that’s a sign that I’m growing up, and that if we have more children I’ll be able to enjoy their infant days as well. 

#6

Charlotte

 can’t say “Liam.” At first she called him “Milim” which has now morphed into “Lemon.” 

I love it. It’s hysterical. I hope she never learns how to say “Liam”. 

#5

While I’ve been typing, I let Sienna and Charlotte use Sienna’s new plastic scissors to cut up a newspaper. It’s kept them happily occupied. Success, thought I.

Then I looked behind me and realized what a colossal mistake I had made. 

#4

Valentine’s Day

is coming up! Do you guys have plans? 

I always hated Valentine’s Day until two years ago. I had plenty of boyfriends before I got married, but somehow managed to either 1) break up with them just before V-day, 2) get broken up with just before V-day or 3) date total buzz-kills who didn’t do things like buy chocolates and flowers or remember silly events like Valentine’s Day. 

Then I got married and discovered that the Ogre is also a total buzzkill. Valentine’s Day was basically a non-event for us until the year before Charlotte was born, when I broke down into hysterical wine-soaked sobs at about 2 am on Valentine’s Day. Mystified, the Ogre asked why I was crying, and I sobbed, “B-b-because you never do anything for me for Valentine’s Day, ever! It’s because I’m fat, isn’t it?” To which he replied, without laughing or getting exasperated, God bless him, “I’ve always ignored Valentine’s Day because when we were dating you mentioned how much you hated it!”

My sobs slowed to a sniffle. Then I said, “I only hate it because no one has ever wanted to celebrate it with me.”

The next year he came home from work on Valentine’s Day with season 1 of Pushing Daisies, then took three-year-old Sienna and newborn Charlotte for an hour and a half so that I could shower, drink some wine, paint my toenails and watch Pushing Daisies. He came back with roses, Italian take-out and a delicious bottle of red wine. 

He’s the best man alive, I swear. 

#3

This Year

We’re gonna keep it low-key. I’m making the Pioneer Woman’s Filet au Poivre, the girls and I are going to make chocolate covered strawberries, we’ll have dinner, put the kids to bed and watch a movie. 

And then go to bed because, well, sometimes NFP rears it’s hideous head at all the wrong times. 

You guys? Any big plans?

#2
At Walgreens Today

right next to the display of Valentine’s Day candy, they had a display of Easter candy.

Seriously? It’s bad enough that the Valentine’s candy goes out the day after Christmas, but can’t we at least just stick to one holiday at a time? The seasonal candy aisle needs a strong dose of Ritalin. 

#1

Speaking of Easter Candy, Though

these are my favorite candies of all time, ever. They are so yum, drool, love. They render me incoherent and grammatically incorrect.

And I have to admit that while I was being derisive of the candy display I was also eagerly scanning the shelves to see if they had these little beauties out yet. No such luck. 

That’s why marketing departments do what they do. Because of suckers like me. 

Oh, and hey, guess what! It’s been a while since we’ve done the Inappropriate Comment of the Day, so here’s a gem for you courtesy of the hairdresser in Trader Joe’s today with tinsel in her hair. And actually, I have to write down the whole conversation because it was all just so massively inappropriate.

(The following is an actual conversation)

Tinsel Lady: Oh, your daughter is so cute! Who cuts her hair? The ends are a little ragged.

Me: I do.

Tinsel Lady: Oh, there’s no reason for you to do that! I cut children’s hair. Here’s my business card. Bring her to me! Children love me. I never had kids because I never wanted any and I’m a party animal, but my nieces and nephews love me! They love coming to my house because I have so many animals. I rescue animals, see. 

Me: Oh. That’s nice of you.

Tinsel Lady: Yes it really is. The thing is, people need to have their animals neutered. And some people need to be neutered too.

Me: (Awkward, incredulous silence)

Tinsel Lady: Your daughter is so well-behaved. It’s so nice to see a mother with just one child.

Me: Actually I have three.

Tinsel Lady: Oh! Oh! Oh! Well, my goodness, how old? 

Me: She’s five, and my two little ones are two and six months.

Tinsel Lady: Boys, girls?

Me: The two-year-old is a girl and the youngest is a boy. 

Tinsel Lady: (visibly relieved) Oh, so you got your boy. So you’re all done now, right? 

Me: No. We love children.

Tinsel Lady: (Awkward, incredulous silence)

And that concludes today’s massively inappropriate comment(s). 

Have a great weekend, everyone! Remember to get your husbands neutered!