7 Quick Takes Saturday!

Better late than never, right?

#7

Yesterday I went down the street to have a play date with a neighbor. We were outside swinging the kids (people have backyards here! With swing sets!) and talking for a while. She kept mentioning people and asking if I knew them, and after about the fourth “no, er, well, um I’m not sure I may have met them” she finally said, “Do you ever go outside?”

I tried to explain that living in a neighborhood with like, actual neighbors who want to talk with you, not steal your children and your computer, is a new thing to me. Then later it occurred to me that no, I don’t really go outside. 

When we lived in Dallas Sienna and I went out every day, but I learned to be a hermit during our time in Vegas. Once I started blogging and made friends online it didn’t even really depress me anymore. Now that we’re back in a great place that’s crawling with other moms pretty much just like me, I  realize that I have become antisocial. 

This is a very disquieting realization. I’ve always been an extremely social person. People make me happy and always have. I married an introverted Ogre, but I’m supposed to be the bubbly, fun, outgoing, social part of the marriage! Yet somehow, of the two of us, the Ogre has made about ten times as many friends and acquaintances as I have in the past two months.

I must change this. I must revert to the happy, social person I am deep down. I must venture forth from the safety of my house and make friends. Now. Because if I don’t, guess who’s gonna be the Ogre in my marriage? 

Me. And that can’t happen. I don’t even look like an Ogre!

#6

But before I can transform into a social butterfly, I must figure out what the hell to do with my hair. (Yeah, I know, omnia vanitas and all that. I’m working on it with my confessor.)

I’m still fighting that battle. It’s getting worse, actually. Today I put straightening gel on my soaking-wet hair and blow-dried it immediately with a paddle brush, a technique which has never failed to produce straight hair, even though it takes a half-hour. 

The right side of my hair is straight. The back is extremely wavy and annoying, and the left side looks like it stuck its finger in an electric socket.

I have tried every technique I can find on Pinterest, four different gels/sprays/serums, and still my hair will neither all curl nor all wave nor all remain straight. No matter what I do, it pretty much does all three. 

I’m going to bite the bullet and pay to get it cut soon, and hopefully my tale of woe will inspire some sort of cosmetology magic in the hands of the hairdresser. Otherwise, I’m going to have to become extremely proficient in the fine art of knotting my hair into a bun and calling it a vanity-free day. 

#5

I have seriously been loving your comments on my “breasts” post. Some of them have been helpful, some have had me rolling, and I’m really glad to know that I’m not the only woman in the world who has this issue. I was kind of worried that it was a result of some stunted emotional maturity and I would have to pay a therapist to talk me through it and that just seemed like a lot of work. I think the blog post was good enough. 

Honestly, though, I’m really glad for the anatomy lesson. How shameful is it that I did not know the difference between “vulva” and “vagina”? Probably pretty shameful, but I’m blaming the skittish and infamously immature football coach who taught my high school Anatomy and Physiology course, not my utter lack of curiosity about human biology. “The buck stops…there.” (Just a little Veronica Mars reference for my fellow TV-loving hermits.) 

#4

Sienna is currently down the street at her first tea party. For said tea party, the girls were asked to come dressed in princess dresses. 

Remember this post? I bet you’re thinking, “wow, what an ideological crisis that request must have put you in, Calah. Did you try and find an alternate solution? Did you call the mother and explain your embargo on all things princess, along with your meticulous philosophical reasoning behind it? Did you use this as a teaching moment in which to show your daughter the dangers that can be found in a culture which encourages pampering and ‘princesses’?” 

The answer is no. No, I did none of those things. Instead I took her to Target and let her pick out whichever damned princess dress she wanted, and let Charlotte get one too for good measure. The two of them have been parading around the house in their dresses for the last two days, and the Ogre hasn’t even so much as blinked about it. 

As it turns out, philosophical objections pale next to the reality of a girl’s first tea party. Plus, they both look really cute in their dresses.

#3

Just a warning, though, to our respective families and the girls’ respective godmothers: this is not license to send us giant boxes filled with tiaras and tutus. In fact, if you do that, I guarantee that it will send the Ogre over the edge and all the princess paraphernalia will be disposed of forthwith, and in the girls’ bedroom there shall be much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Just let us ease into relinquishing our parenting ideals, okay?

#2

The Ave Maria Children’s Theatre is putting on a performance of Annie this weekend, and I’m taking the girls tonight.

I’m really excited. They’ve both seen The Nutcracker, but neither of them have ever been to a play before (unless you count the ill-advised trip we took to Shakespeare in the Park when Sienna was three and Charlotte was a newborn, which I emphatically do not.) Plus, a bunch of their friends are in the play. Sienna is beside herself. Charlotte just keeps repeating, “we get to go somewhere after dark?”

Here’s hoping Sienna sits still and Charlotte stays awake. 

#1

I keep repeating this to myself as I look around at my increasingly messy/cluttered/rapidly approaching dirty house, but somehow it’s not ringing true. I think if I were out participating in activities and charities and half-marathons or something I might be able to come to terms with my recent gross neglect of housekeeping duties, but as it is, this is what I’ve been doing while the children have embarked upon a reign of terror through the living room:

So now it’s time to do this:

Have a great weekend! Go and see Jen for more quick takes!