7 Quick Takes Friday!

Holy cheez-its, you guys. It’s cold outside.

Look at that shizzle!

Yeah, I realize that 69 is not considered “cold” in the rest of the country, but I’ve been living on a steady diet of 80-90 degree days with 90% humidity. I’ll take what I can get.

However, I must admit that the sight of all the wee Floridian children walking to school bundled up like this kid

against the Arctic 50 degree wind was hilarious.

Speaking of hilarious, this facebook re-cap of the last Downton Abbey episode is hysterical. Here’s my favorite bit without too many spoilers:

And yes, in case you were wondering, I did just learn how to edit a screen cap in between that first image and that last one. You’re welcome.

Here’s more funny: 13 Teen Death Novels from the 90’s that Actually Exist

Please be aware that I read at least half of these, and blame Lurlene McDaniel for my extreme hypochondria. Actually given how wildly (and perversely) popular these books were, I think WebMD should give Lurlene McDaniel a cut of the profit. She taught a generation of impressionable teenage girls that cancer is everywhere and we’re all going to die, like, tomorrow probably, and then just as we started having children lo! Along comes an internet site that will diagnose us and our progeny with cancer at the click of mouse, and with only a teeny-tiny bit of exaggeration about our symptoms.

Maybe that’s the source of the soaring costs of healthcare, too. We were all so mind-warped by Lurlene’s cancer teen lit that we now rush to the doctor anytime one of our kids so much as sneezes or develops a crush on a boy. “It must be cancer!”

Thanks, Lurlene. Thanks a lot.

So after I could no longer ignore the incessant tweets and status updates about Manti Te’o, I finally googled, “who is Manti Te’0 and why is he cluttering up my news feed?” That search was actually fruitless, so I tried again and just googled his name.

Yes, I had never heard of him. I dislike football and all other organized, televised sports. I live in blissful ignorance and regularly block people’s status updates when they begin to say things like “Rock Chalk Jayhawk KUUUUUUU!” because I have no idea what that means and furthermore, I don’t want to.

But I was curious. So I googled.

Is that the weirdest story or what? I know there are people who are gleefully wetting themselves over the possibility of Manti being a gay Mormon football player at a Catholic university using an online girlfriend as a beard, and then there are people who are keeping faith in Manti because he seems like such a stand-up guy, but no one seems to be pointing out the obvious fact that no matter what the truth of the matter is, Manti Te’o is kind of dumb.

Seriously. If he really was using this fake online persona as a mask to hide his real, gay lover, then he’s not exactly the sharpest crayon in the box. Because, hello? You’re a famous football player and you stole pictures of real women from their internet profiles to be the face of your “girlfriend?” Really? And if he is the victim of an elaborate (and seemingly pointless) hoax, then, well, that’s really sad. But come on. That’s like Forrest Gump-worthy naivete.

The only explanation I buy is that it was a hoax cooked up between Manti and some of his buddies to generate publicity, which worked really well for a while and then went to hell because there are no secrets on the internet.

In any case, I’m relieved that two quick takes of speculation on Manti Te’o are the closest contact I’ve been forced to have with the world of organized sports this year. One year, I was staying with my parents while the Mavericks were battling for the championship for basketball, whatever that’s called, and they only had one TV. That was the longest week of my life. I was so bored I actually filed my nails twice in one week.

Sienna just got home from school and we have exciting plans to burn our Christmas tree in our neighbor’s firepit and make s’mores tonight in celebration of 60 degree weather, so I must go. Happy weekend! Go see Jen for more quick takes!