Is There Anybody Out There?

Yes, that title was only an excuse to put a Pink Floyd song in this post. You’re welcome.

Way back in June, the Ogre and I planned a quick little 3 week jaunt to Texas to visit the fam, give him access to the libraries at UD and SMU, and give me a bit of relief from the horribly depressing Florida rainy season. I had zero intentions of taking a blogging break (because I had just tried that and failed spectacularly, remember?).

Well, 3 weeks turned into 4, then 5, then 7. We had the absolute best summer ever. Our days were bursting with swimming, cousins, Chick-fil-a, nieces and nephews, parks, Mimi and Papa time, Yaya and Papou time, puppies, old UD friends, aunts and uncles, Sister Awesome, and joy. We had so much fun during the days that I didn’t want to miss a second of it by rushing back to my computer. And then after the kids finally went down (after endless rounds of bedtime whack-a-mole), I had my sister and my mom to hang out with. I didn’t want to give up any of that time, even if we were just sitting and watching the Rangers, to try and put up a hasty blog post. Somehow this summer, nothing in Bloglandia seemed more important than hanging out with our families.

We got into Ft. Lauderdale at about 11 pm on Saturday night. After the not-so-minor miracle of our faithful Navigator starting right away after 2 months in long-term parking we headed back towards Ave Maria. As we drove down Alligator Alley with the kids snoring away in the backseat, I realized how very much I have missed blogging. I started thinking about all the people at home with whom I was looking forward to catching up, and although my two great neighbors and a few other neighborhood moms came to mind, so did all my internet friends. This is the longest break from blogging I have taken since I started this blog, and while I enjoyed every second of it, I missed you guys!

Most unfortunately, though, I also took a break from all my serious bloggy responsibilities, like reading through the stack of books I agreed to review, editing some stuff for friends, and responding to emails. Because the world of adult responsibility is totally lame with its “work before play” crap, that shizzle comes first. But then! But then, my friends, oh do I have so much to tell you. Here’s a quick little bullet-point sneak peak at things you can expect to morph into wordy, hyperbolic posts. Really important stuff I realized, like

• When the heat is so intense that you actually have to choose between puking or dying, no desire to conform to a socially accepted standard of dressing (whether that standard be in the name of modesty or fashion) will ever EVER keep me from shorts again. And I mean short shorts. Not booty shorts, but you know. Finger-tip length. I feel that the inclusion of said shorts into my wardrobe has already improved my standard of living 5000%.
• Zumba is really hard when you have the actual DVD’s from the guy who created zumba, and I shouldn’t have been derisive when my sister said she was doing zumba, cause I totally ate crow the next day when I tried to do it and had to choose both puking and dying at the end.
• I should know by now not to be derisive of anyone ever, because it always ends in crow.
• The state of my teeth is stressing me out beyond reason, and even though I keep trying to tell myself not to be so vain, I can’t help it, because I love my teeth and I’m becoming desperately afraid that I will soon have to adopt a closed-mouth smile to hide their rapid descent into deformity.
• When you’ve kind of lost everything else you were ever vain about, you tend to cling to that one last thing with terrifying ferocity. And by you, I mean me. Seriously, God, why? My teeth! They were all I had left! Not my teeth!
• I wasn’t exaggerating about the hyperbole you’re going to witness over the next few weeks. When it comes to my teeth, though, it’s not hyperbole. I mean it.
• I miss Texas, a lot, and not just our families. Everything about it. Texas is in my blood after all, and it’s calling me home.
• That being said, the Florida sun is way more effective when you want to get tanned in a short period of time.
• I have to get back to Texas soon so I can hang out with Jen and Rebecca more. They are so awesome. If I were Anne of Green Gables, I would say they are “of the race that knows Joseph.” But since I’m pretty sure Anne and I would have vastly different understandings of what that means (and since I doubt Anne would even include me in her idea of the race of Joseph), I’ll have to come up with my own term. Maybe y’all can help me. Something like “cheerful anti-Pollyannas who like to drink”? I don’t know. The race that knows Simcha Fisher, maybe?
• When one’s goal is to return to the light blond hair of one’s youth, but one refuses to shell out two weeks’ worth of grocery money to a salon, one might have jaw-dropping success with spray-in hair lightening spray.
• Or one’s hair might turn kind of orange.
• Six years after officially leaving college, I finally had to face up to the fact that I can no longer pull off my tried-and-true standard of dressing. I like to call it “cargo pants chic.” My sister likes to call it “sloppy and shapeless, even for a college student, which you are not anymore, by the way.” She revamped my wardrobe while we were in Texas and convinced me not to curl up into a fetal position when presented with outfits like stripes mixed with paisley.
• I sometimes look like a grown-up who knows how to work a closet now.
• I even got tall wedge sandals.
• Charlotte is teaching me how to walk in them.

Just for funsies, here’s the picture Jen and I took in Austin. Just pretend not to notice that I can’t keep my eyes open like a normal human when I smile.

So what’d I miss? Any Blogworld blow-ups? Or unlikely truces? Or unusually happy and pleasant posts? Or things that will make my head explode? And how was y’all’s summer?