World War Zzzzzzzz…Peter Capaldi! Peter Capaldi!

World War Zzzzzzzz…Peter Capaldi! Peter Capaldi! October 14, 2013

This weekend, the Ogre and I finally watched World War Z. Being a confirmed zombie junkie, I was really looking forward to this one. I read the book and loved it. It scared me so thoroughly that I didn’t sleep well for a solid week. And even though I followed (with horror) the way the movie ignored absolutely everything that made the book great, I still wanted to see it. The Ogre and I always watch zombie movies together, though, because our first date was to go see Dawn of the Dead, so it’s a tradition. Plus we have hours-long discussions afterward about the biological/psychological possibilities of a zombie apocalypse and then plan our responses to various situations, so it’s really a practical activity instead of just a movie. But we had to wait until he had a free night and I was emotionally prepared to have my socks scared off.

Anyway, first, this is is true

Image courtesy of io9, the best website in the history of the internet

But I was prepared for that. What I wasn’t prepared for was how dreadfully boring the movie is. I tried so hard to enjoy it, to be scared by the zombies, to care what happened to Brad Pitt, but the most exciting moment of the movie was this one:

“Holy crap, that’s the new Doctor!” I shouted over my own running commentary about how stupid the plot was. The Ogre looked up. “Oh.”

No, no, he doesn’t understand. This is the best thing ever to happen to Doctor Who since the Weeping Angels. He’s going to be such an amazing doctor. He’ll be like Christopher Eccleston, but less goofy and even more intensely intense. I cannot wait until next season. I am so tired of feeling like I just watched the VMA’s after every Doctor Who episode. When Alex Kingston is the token old and unattractive character in a series, it’s too much pretty to take.

The butt of constant appearance-based jokes in the current season of Doctor Who. That’s not a skewed perception of reality or anything.

For crap’s sake, they even made the lizard people more aesthetically pleasing.

Probably because the constant inter-species sexual innuendo was too creepy when the other species actually looked like another species

Jeez. Enough with the sauciness and great hair. Enough with the hipster pseudo-steampunk teenage doctor who can actually be described as “adorable.” I want wrinkles! I want depth! I want that inaccessible but fascinating doctor with the edge of danger that Christopher Eccleston gave us, not the narcissistic but cheeky doctor with the edge of sociopath that we have now.

Three cheers for Peter Capaldi!

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