An Anti-Theist Wrestles With “Spirituality”

And I get that same feeling, sometimes, as an atheist. Sometimes I feel incredibly connected to all of existence.  I feel awesome when I feel that way.  To many atheists I know, this is nothing special, or really no big deal, and that’s OK.  I like thinking about myself as the universe looking at itself; it’s OK if others get nothing out of it, though.  Yes, I know that consciousness is a function of the brain, but that was something produced by the universe as well.  So I feel connected, in some way or other, to everything that exists.

This leads to another confusion.  Sometimes an apologist will tell me that my life is meaningless without God, because it’s all just atoms and molecules.  I don’t feel that way.  The fact that the atoms and molecules that make up me and my consciousness also make up the universe makes me feel awesome – it gives me the feelings I used to be referring to when I talked about spirituality as a Christian.  It makes me feel connected to all of existence in a powerful way.

I’m not saying that this is a transcendent view, like a connection you’re morally obligated to feel, any more than you are morally obligated to like a movie, a book, or a play.  It’s just an orientation, an available preference, of looking at the world.  I’m not saying you have to like it; you don’t have to like it, and that’s fine.  You don’t have to like R & B and I don’t have to like Heavy Metal (and maybe you’re an intense heavy metal fan – I don’t mean to offend; that’s OK.  Just making a point). It’s a lens, a way of looking at the world, that is aesthetic to certain sensibilities. My sentiments are similar to those of Alan Watts, when he stated:

I want to make one thing absolutely clear. I am not a Zen Buddhist, I am not advocating Zen Buddhism, I am not trying to convert anyone to it. I have nothing to sell. I’m an entertainer. That is to say, in the same sense, that when you go to a concert and you listen to someone play Mozart, he has nothing to sell except the sound of the music. He doesn’t want to convert you to anything. He doesn’t want you to join an organization in favor of Mozart’s music as opposed to, say, Beethoven’s. And I approach you in the same spirit as a musician with his piano or a violinist with his violin. I just want you to enjoy a point of view that I enjoy.

One thing I hate, then, is when people try to act as if this sense of connection they call “spirituality” is an asset, because it often doesn’t seem to be, beyond the aesthetics.  In some cases, for example, I find that I have to watch out and remind myself that my natural impulse to feel connected to existence doesn’t lead to me presuming to know things I don’t know.  I also have to remind myself to stick to logic, reason, and science when trying to determine origins of consciousness – possibly more than other people. So I don’t see it as an asset, so much as I see it as just a way I enjoy being in the world.  And that’s OK – like sitting in a theatre and watching a movie with fantastic elements is OK.  You can enjoy the experience…but when you leave the theatre and get into your car, it’s important for you to separate fact from fiction (instead of trying to drive the car with your mind, or something).

One reason I’m talking about this is that I get the impression that people think a sense of what they call “spirituality” is incompatible with antitheism.  The thought is that what we call “spiritual” has to be connected to some built up being, and that if you are against that, those feelings disappear.  I can’t really relate to that. The farthest thing from what I want is to limit my sense of “spiritual” connection to a personal being. The feeling seems too…vast for that.  The connection is rooted in a deep-seated empathy for things that actually exist.

The problem occurs when people try to use this sense of what they call “spirituality” and give authority to it – make it into a God or gods that, by definition, has moral authority over other peoples’ lives.  That’s dangerous, because it can really hurt people or steal their lives away, it seems, by controlling them and twisting their own strivings with lies.

Another problem occurs when people use the sense of what they call “spirituality” to say that there are spirits that affect our lives in ways there is no evidence for.  When nonexistent variables are added into the equation, the results are likely going to differ from the ones we intend.  For example, if you watch Star Wars and think The Force will help you in your life, you might attempt to steer a car with your mind and actually damage the lives of the other passengers (I know that may be a crude example, but you get the point, hopefully). I see the real-life equivalent of this all the time, when people think everything from evolution to global warming to same-sex marriage is connected to the “spirit” they attach to “spirituality”…ruining several lives in the process.

If we are concerned about helping better people’s lives, being empathetic, and reducing harm, it seems important for to carefully test and examine the results of different modes of action, instead of depending on something that can be as easily manipulated as the aesthetics of spirituality.  The fact that something seems beautiful to you does not mean that it is true. And, as I, personally, have found, what you thought was beautiful about your religion…may have less to do with your religion than you think.  In fact, leaving religion often can give you an opportunity to expand your view of what is beautiful.

Just a few thoughts.

Thanks for reading.