Holy Week has historically been my favorite part of the Christian calendar; it’s earthy, emotional, raw, and real. There is a story told of steadfastness, rejection, humiliation, loss, waiting, and finally some form of rebirth – of new things coming. It’s a story I can see myself in and can therefore be moved by – I’ve experienced all of those things, large or small, at some point in my life; we all have. Rather than a tale of one man,... Read more
Each of us operates with default settings running beneath our windows of attention. Becoming a parent made this abundantly clear to me – annoyingly and idealism-shatteringly so. I see my default tendencies toward anger in my responses to the kids not going to sleep fast enough at night. (“Just go to sleep!”) Or my default desires for control when dinner doesn’t quite go according to my carefully crafted plan. (“What do you mean you don’t like it?! You haven’t even... Read more
About a year ago, I spent some time reflecting and created a list of the 24 Wisdom Teachers Who Have Changed My Life. The books listed in this article didn’t just “change” my life – they helped my spirituality to evolve in complexity and commitment to humanity. If any of them sound compelling or challenging for you, I invite you to grab a copy, either through the links or through your local library! My recent book Unmasking the Inner Critic:... Read more
As we enter the final week of the Lenten season, I’m being consistently reminded that it is often through going downward into our depths that we touch upon what’s truly Real in our lives. Take a moment to think about that in your own life. How have you touched upon the Realness of life in the midst of your pain? How have moments of struggle taught you what the Divine is like? The season of Lent invites us into our own... Read more
One of the most important actions to pay attention to within yourself: When you become internally defensive. Defensiveness is often our way of maneuvering around our shadows: the parts of ourselves we don’t really want to look at (and definitely don’t want others to see.) It is often an escape mechanism that allows us to deflect perceived threats to our sense of identity and status quo, relocate our feelings of blame, shame, and guilt elsewhere, disassociate from the moment and... Read more
The reason I left the Church was because the god I was handed simply wasn’t believable. Raised on rational and critical thought, I couldn’t understand the idea of an all-powerful man-being in the sky, just above the terrestrial plain but never in a specific location, who looks down and passes judgement upon us all. I went to my parents and asked about why we used masculine language for this god. I asked about the existence of heaven and hell. I... Read more
For the past several years, I’ve used the phrase “wisdom teachers.” In general, my working definition has been someone who has: experienced harm and joy and love and suffering, developed the capacity to be present, even in the midst of the muck, learned to embody kindness and compassion, and shared the wisdom of their experience with others. It describes elders and poets and folks who have learned to live deeply in the real world – and share the learnings of... Read more
Are you wanting to engage your inner work, but don’t know where to start? I’ve recently created this five-day email series for folks wanting to get off autopilot and explore how to begin living in a more intentional and grounded way. Over the course of five days, you’ll receive: Daily teachings and practices, Reflection questions for your inner work, and A simple framework for seeing yourself, your communities, and society in a deeper way. *There will also be a multi-book... Read more
In the past year, both my Grandpa Gayle and my Grandma Betty passed away. Grandpa Gayle was a kind man. He had the best chuckle. When he smiled, it didn’t light up the room; it made the room feel light. I’m convinced he could remember the names of every family that lived in the towns he had lived in. He was a storyteller. He was a good human. I was standing alone in my house – in my kitchen –... Read more
There are parts of our stories we’d rather not look at or pay attention to. Our negative inner narratives about ourselves, the self-talk we engage in that shifts and shapes our behavior, the fears we carry that emerge from our experiences of the world around us. Sometimes these result from direct acts of trauma; sometimes they develop in us indirectly over time as a response to an imperfect and traumatizing world. They are sometimes referred to as our personal shadows... Read more
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