Making Compassion A Habit

In our spiritual journey we are trying to cultivate compassion in order to live in a more awakened way. Working to train in compassion is really important, but there’s a certain point we can get to where it becomes more than a virtue we are working on. Compassion can become a habit. That’s where the magic really is, when we don’t stop to think “Should I act with compassion right now?” but instead we just naturally do it without thinking. There can come a point where we aren’t trying so hard to be generous, kind, and patient because these things become more natural to us thanks to our work on training ourselves.

In ‘A Fearless Heart’ Thupten Jinpa says, “When we make a habit of compassion in our everyday lives through regular practice and action, we live with more courage, less stress, and greater freedom.”

I think this is true.

We start with making compassion part of our intention, but really what we want is to make it part of our process. Declarative knowledge is about understanding, knowing why compassion is helpful and believing that being compassionate is a good thing for ourselves and others. Procedural knowledge is about actually doing things. We want to make compassion procedural, not just something we reflect on…something we do.

Jinpa goes on to say, “The goal of compassion training is simply this: to temper our heart and mind in such a way that we instinctively relate to ourselves and others with awareness of our needs and the basic vulnerability that unites us as humans.”

I think we can learn a lot about how to be better in this world if we really work toward seeing other people…as people. We can notice this when we see horrible things happening in the world. The people that harm others in awful ways usually don’t see the people that they’re harming as people. We have this strange habit of forgetting, especially when it relates to people who don’t look the way we do, don’t speak our language, or don’t have the same opinions we do. They’re all still people. Everyone wants happiness and less suffering, just like we do. And everyone is going through many of the same struggles we are, health issues, aging, death, losing our loved ones, etc. We just get so self absorbed sometimes that we forget.

So, how do we make compassion a habit?

We strive to embody it until it becomes a normal thing that we do. Practicing makes a habit. We can train our minds. Studies show there is neuro-plasticity in these areas of the brain, which means we can change our brains. We can reshape them in the way we wish.

Jinpa says, “Cognitive science suggests that by shaping the way we see ourselves and the world around us we reshape how we experience ourselves and the world. Similarly, by changing the way we feel about ourselves, about others, and about the world, we reshape the way we perceive ourselves, others, and the world we live in.”

Compassion training can change everything.