Bristol Palin
Surrogacy is complicated, but this was a really difficult moment:
When Crystal Kelley met the couple she ended up being a surrogate for in 2011, she says she felt an immediate connection.
“They offered to come and meet me near my home,” Kelley, 33, of Vernon, Connecticut, tells PEOPLE. “It was very nice when we met. I really liked them.”
After spending time with the couple and their three kids at a nearby playground, Kelley says it was obvious that the couple loved their children.
“They were interactive with their kids,” says Kelley. “Their father was playing with them and they were all having a great time. Their mom and I were just standing to the side watching them and she couldn’t stop smiling.”
Afterwards, they sat down and talked about why the couple wanted to find a surrogate mother.
“She teared up,” says Kelley. “She was very emotional as she talked about how they only had two embryos left and they were reaching the end of their five-year storage time and they had to make the decision very soon whether they were going to keep them or get rid of them.” (The couple had used an anonymous egg donor.)
Kelley says she immediately saw “the emotions in her eyes.”
Later that night, Kelley sent the agent for her surrogacy an email saying that she loved the couple and would be more than happy to carry for them.
They signed the contracts, which included a provision for what would happen if there was a defect. “Originally, it said [the parents] could ask for an abortion at any time and for any reason,” she says. Though Kelley didn’t like that at all, she compromised and agreed to abortion being an option if the baby had a severe abnormality.
Then everything went bad.
When the follow-up ultrasound revealed troubling results, Kelley received a call from the mother, who had already learned that the baby had a possible heart defect.
“She called and said, ‘My husband and I have really thought about this and discussed it. We have had preemies and we know what challenges preemies face and we really don’t want to bring another disabled baby into the world.’
“That was when I started to get really worried. I’m standing outside in the sun and then all of a sudden I got cold and clammy,” she recalls. “It was all of a sudden, like everything switched. I told her, ‘Let’s remember we talked about this. I’m not willing to terminate a pregnancy for a child with a disability. I’m not terminating the pregnancy unless the baby is going to die.’ “
She stuck to her guns, even though the ultrasound indicated that the baby had a heart defect, the technicians couldn’t find the baby’s stomach and she had a cleft lip. The parents said they wanted the abortion, so the baby wouldn’t suffer. Kelley, who already had a daughter who’d had a great life after heart surgery, wasn’t willing to abort.
“My daughter is happy, healthy and absolutely full of energy. You look at her and you can’t tell that there was anything was ever wrong with her,” she says. “So I wasn’t just going to give up on this baby.”
That was the last time she spoke to the parents.
She eventually had the child and put her up for adoption. That was three years ago. Now, the outspoken, feisty child is doing great! This was vindication for Kelley, but even if she hadn’t overcome her obstacles the story would’ve been great.
Life is important, even if it’s not perfect.
Fight for it!
If you love this nation, like America the Beautiful on Facebook:
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In