Catholic Authenticity - amor ipse notitia est

Enabling Abusers: On Divorce and Remarriage

February 12, 2019 By Melinda Selmys

About a year and a half ago, my older children came to me and told me that something had to change. Their father had been abusing alcohol for most of our married life, and his alcoholism had reached a point where it was having serious negative effects on the rest of the family. My kids were dealing with mental health problems, they felt isolated and controlled, and they needed me to do something to stop the chaos and abuse that… Read more

The Seductive Illusion of Objectivity

October 27, 2018 By Melinda Selmys

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This is not a defence of relativism. It is a challenge to the concept of “objectivity,” and in particular to the way in which claims of objectivity are weaponized in discussions about truth. We’ve all been in this conversations: someone makes an assertion that is contradicted by your experience. So you share your story and you’re instantly accused of arguing from emotion or of projecting your own experience onto reality. Your interlocutor, of course, is not swayed by such considerations…. Read more

No, Simcha, Dissent is Not Tantamount to Rape

October 19, 2018 By Melinda Selmys

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Simcha Fisher recently published an article comparing dissenting from the Catholic church’s position on things like women in the priesthood and contraception to sexual assault. Basically, her premise is that the church has said “No” and “No means no.” Therefore it is wrong to try to pressure the church into changing its position on these things. What Fisher misses is that there is a difference between rules and boundaries. “No means no” is only valid in an absolute sense when… Read more

5 Things I’m Obsessed With (Other Than Power)

October 12, 2018 By Melinda Selmys

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Apparently my old friend Austin Ruse has joined the chorus of people who think that I left the Catholic church because I’m obsessed with power. It’s a standard reply to feminists who want power-sharing in the church. “If you think the gospel is about power, you’ve got it wrong.” So, I want to talk briefly about the difference between power-lust and empowerment. They both concern power, that’s true, but they don’t both involve grasping after power. It’s kind of like… Read more

A Tale of Two Priests: On Authority

October 12, 2018 By Melinda Selmys

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In the past two days, I received correspondence from two different Catholic priests reacting to the news that I was leaving the Roman Catholic church. One drew me closer to the church, made me more receptive to the idea that one day I might want to return. The other solidified my suspicions that members of the hierarchy use abuse tactics to secure compliance from the faithful. The second letter was a variety of correspondence that I’ve only ever received from… Read more

Crossing the Rubicon: Why I Will No Longer Enable the Catholic Hierarchy

October 2, 2018 By Melinda Selmys

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A while ago, one of my atheist commenters observed that watching me grapple with my doubts about the authority of the Catholic hierarchy was like watching a train-wreck in slow motion. I didn’t respond, partly because although I wanted to tell myself that no, it wasn’t true, on some level I suspected that they were right. Just it was my train, and I was on it, and I didn’t want to admit that the jolting shocks, the screech of metal… Read more

Do You Feel Safe in Church?

September 30, 2018 By Melinda Selmys

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The last time I attended a Catholic church was a couple of weeks ago. I basically sat in the back of the Church and cried the entire time. The pastors decided that they were going to address the abuse crisis head-on, and they did a relatively good job of it. They prayed for the victims. They said that there was going to be a special Mass with adoration to pray for the healing of the victims. They acknowledged the concerns… Read more

Just Believe Women?

September 24, 2018 By Melinda Selmys

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About a week ago, I became aware that someone named Kavanaugh had been accused of sexual assault by an anonymous woman. The assault had supposedly happened 35 years ago, and the details were sketchy. There was every possibility that the woman was remembering wrong, or that the scattered details had been sensationalized by the press. Apparently the guy was up for a seat on the Supreme Court and wasn’t liked by the Democrats, so they were trying to dig up… Read more

Is There A Gay Problem in the Priesthood?

August 23, 2018 By Melinda Selmys

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I want to take a look at the relationship between homosexuality and the pedophilia scandals. I know that there are other writers who are simply saying “There is no relationship. Stop with the homophobic scapegoating already,” and that does need to be said. But it’s not likely to be all that effective in addressing the concerns and beliefs of those who sincerely believe that the problem comes down to too many gay priests, and too much sexual liberalism. Proponents of… Read more

A Monstrous Monstrance, or Why Does Religion Suck?

August 12, 2018 By Melinda Selmys

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Writing about God is difficult. It’s almost as hard as writing a good sex scene. You can write about the idea of God, of course. You can defend God. Argue in favour of God’s existence. Argue endlessly about what God would probably want if He showed up and weighed in on the state of the modern world. It’s easy to write around God. But to write about God is a different thing. Because God isn’t a concept, an idea, a… Read more