Did the consecration work?
But you can read this to find out the plot to destroy it and the church.
And the one man who saved it.
Putin sat in the corner with a gag over his face as George Soros lit his cigar and began to puff away.
Zelensky smiled with glee. “We got that bastard”! Now we can live in freedom. Freedom to have abortions and gay pride parades.” Laughter filled the room.
Soros cleared his throat and addressed the room.
“Gentlemen of the New World Order”
“And ladies”, said Hillary Clinton.
“Yes. Ladies. Thank you for being patient. We have now paid off our Patheos and Where Peter Is writers to spread our propaganda. Alt, Shea and C. Bard are now enjoying their own private jets so they can fly around the country. Also I think the nanobots that were disturbed through the vaccine are beginning to change folks DNA. These things are done so we can get to our real goal and plan. That plan is now in motion that we have captured our enemy.”
Zelensky walked over to Putin and kicked him hard.
“The final phase of the plan is for Bergoglio to do the consecration. Is it all set?” asked Soros.
The anti-pope smiled and raised his martini. “Yes. These ignorant sheep believe I am giving a consecration to the blessed mother. Instead, it is to the blessed Pachamama.”
More laughter filled the room.
“Your holiness,” said Mrs. Clinton laughing, “perhaps now that your church will be in a real woman’s influence after the consecration, perhaps you can make me a priest. Maybe time to lift the rule.”
“Yes. Great idea”, said Bergoglio. “And you can go full Novus Ordo and wear clown make up, sing hymns by BTS and most importantly wear pants. Woman wearing pants really annoys those rigid do-gooders. And the best part you’re not even Catholic.”
More laughter filled the room.
“We must take care of Coffin and Marshall though. They are onto us”, said Viganò. “I mean how could most Catholics who have any ounce of a brain think I’m actually for real.”
Bergoglio added “It’s amazing how accurate Marshall’s book was. I was so honored to have him give me a signed copy of it. NOT.”
“C’Mon on man. Perhaps we can take down their websites, again,” replied Biden in his whisper calm voice. “I got a crack team of ticktockers ready to help us shut down this malarky. The stuff these guys say is bananas”
“Yes”. Soros approved.
“Let us give our victory cry”, shouted Bishop B. Aaron.
“LONG LIVE VATICAN 2”.
Soros started to reply, “Nobody can stop us, especially…”
The stained-glass window overlooking the Tiber River exploded as a man dressed in a medieval suit of armor burst through it and landed on the floor with a thump.
The group of evil modernists looked around the room. The man in the suit looked back at them.
“No one can stop you but ME. I’ve come here to chew gum and punch heretics. And I’m all out of gum.”
“It’s him,” shouted Fr. Jay Martin. The Dark Trad Knight.”
B. Aaron explained, “I’d tell him to go to hell, except nobody is.”
“GUARDS”, shouted Bergoglio
All of a sudden, a dozen Swiss Guards popped out of nowhere. These guards had a fancy new guard uniform designed by the Feminist Pro-Choice Fashion Company for Men. They all had a gingerbread man logo in the upper right-hand corner.
“I guess it won’t take too long to bring down this bunch of gobshites.” Explained the Trad Dark Knight. He produced a statue of St. Nicholas. “Time for St. Nick to start punching fake Catholics. Let’s Go Brandons”
Gregorian Chant music filled the room as the effeminate Swiss Guards lunged at the Dark Trad Knight. The New World Order club watched in horror as the Dark Trad Knight beat the crap out of them in the same way Will Smith beat the crap out of Chris Rock.
When the sissy Swiss Guards were all knocked out on the floor with their N-95 masks lying on them after being ripped off the Dark Trad Knight looked directly at the fake pope as he said, “Time to throw this idol in the river.”
Suddenly a club whacked the Dark Trad Knight in the back. Zelensky had snuck up behind him and whacked him. He was down. His St. Nick statue rolled across the floor. It was crushed by Fr. Jay Martin.
Soros stood over him puffing his cigar.
“You pathetic rigid piece of Trad trash. Did you really think you could win against us? The New World Freaking Order. It’s time to do onto others before they do unto ….
A pillow with the My Pillow logo cracked over Soros head. When everyone looked to see who had done such a thing they all shouted in unison.
“I love a good ass-kicking. Believe me I know ass-kicking. I used to be in wrestling. I know wrestling. I’m a good wrestler. Nobody does wrestling better then me. I’m overturning this election of the New World Order. Ok NOW you guys are fired,” said Trump.
The Dark Trad Knight regained his composure and between him and Trump they throw everyone out of the window into the Tiber.
“C’mon on Man”, Biden cried as he sailed through the window and landed with a splash in the Tiber.
Before being the last guy to be thrown out, Bergoglio said, “You’ll never get away with this. Why are you trying to stop the progress of the church. This is what God wants.”
The Dark Trad Knight replied. “You modernist Catholic wannnabes never get it. You can’t stomp on Tradition with your new age protestant ways. God will always win. And always remember you’re the worst pope in the history of popes and Trump is a better Catholic then you.
“But he’s not even Catholicccccccccccccccccccccc”, he said as he sailed out the window.
“Lets free him now,” said the Dark Trad Knight. “No. Not Putin. Not yet. They went to a little room in the back and opened the door. Behind the door was a man in a papal outfit.
“Oh my gosh”, said Trump. “Is that the real pope? Believe me I know popes and that looks like a real pope. I think I would make a darn good pope. I…”
“Yeah. They thought they could keep him locked away.” said the Dark Trad Knight cutting Trump off in his monologue about himself.” Now it’s time to bring him forth for the world to see.” He untied his gag and helped him up.
“Your holiness,” explained the Dark Trad Knight.
“Thank you,” replied Pope Michael.
This post reminds me of this.