Welcoming Myself Home: The Magick of Integration & Coming Back

Welcoming Myself Home: The Magick of Integration & Coming Back February 13, 2019

While I’m packing for Witchcamp, I’m not only packing my bags — I’m also preparing for coming home. Preparing for integration, or that fuzzy space after camp (or any magickal experience) that looks like possibility and often slips by too quickly.

Before I can make sense of the mystical.

How will I land after the ecstasy?

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Intention

I begin with a direction, a place I want to go. What do I really want? What am I seeking?

Sometimes, I am vague and open. Sometimes I am concrete. Sometimes, I change direction after I realize the actual place I’m meant to travel.

I write it down. It’s usually a sentence or two. It might be similar to the intention of the entire camp or a part of a path I might take. It might be a whisper that comes into my head as I give the last offerings to my altar before I leave.

Do this, the godds say quietly. Try this.

Sometimes, like this time, it is less of a direction and more of a gift.

This time, it looks like healing.

Collection

I’ve noticed that I tend to take pictures in moments where I should be, well, being. I collect the images to look at later when I need a reminder of where I’ve been. I don’t feel there is anything wrong about this, but the recognition has me curious.

What if collecting experiences in my heart looked like presence and trust? Can I trust my body and heart to hold what happens? Can I trust I will know what I know?

Even though I’m a writer, I tend to be a less than enthusiastic journal keeper. I will write random things down, but I’m not very consistent. And while I think collection can get in the way of experience, I also know there is value in taking notes.

So, I have a journal — and a promise to write down just a few things a day, at the beginning and end of the days. Because I might just be collecting breadcrumbs that lead me to the places I want to go.

I write down quickly, concisely. And I close the book to head into the moments that wait.

Space

The easiest way for me to avoid integration is to schedule myself for work right after Witchcamp. I know it’s not a good idea. I’m tired. I have things to digest. I need to be in a quiet space for a little bit to settle the pieces that have been shaken.

I haven’t always had the luxury of time off. But I have learned that even a few hours can help. A day off is even better.

Quiet. Coming home. Letting my body catch up with my broken open heart — or vice versa.

I think of it like being on a plane. It has to be confusing for a body to be 2500 miles away from its home in less than six hours. Space helps me catch up.

If I don’t have space, I lose my place.

An hour. A day. A breath into between and emergence.

Welcoming

A new thing I’ve been doing is to write myself a letter that welcomes me home. I need that transition, that greeting of ‘old’ me and ‘new’ me. An introduction of selves that know different things — and who want to know each other and come together.

Integration of parts and memories and thought processes. And love.

I welcome home my being from the past. I welcome her into the present.

I open to what comes next.

I will put the note at my desk because I always go there first.

Welcome home, Beloved. Thank you for your magick.

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About Irisanya Moon
I’m a Witch. I’m a writer. I’m a priestess, teacher, drummer, feminist, and initiate in the Reclaiming tradition. I serve the gods, my community, and the Earth. I’ve called myself a Witch for nearly 20 years, and my life has been infused with magick. I am interested in shifting stories – the ones we tell ourselves and the ones that are told about us. I’m continuously inspired to engage as the storyteller and the story, the words and the spaces between. I am a devotee of Aphrodite, Hecate, the Norns, and Iris. I seek to find love and to inspire love by reminding us we are not alone, while also meeting myself at the crossroads, holding the threads of life, and bringing down messages from the gods. I am a Witch. You can read more about the author here.
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