Many of my ancestors are lost to me. I don’t know their names or I’ve found out the names that I learned were lies. And there are ways this knowledge (or lack) has made me feel disconnected and lost during Samhain.
But I’m working toward finding ways to connect, even in the vagueness, to support the healing of my past and the vitality of my future.
Journeying into the Unknown, Meeting Lost Ancestors
I drop into the mystery of timelines by finding a space where I won’t be disturbed. I surround myself with pictures of the ancestors I know and I invite them in. I call to them to be present, to be witnesses, to be allies.
I light candles beside them. I breathe in the possibility that we can connect.
Sometimes, I’ll put on music that feels deepening and allowing. Sometimes, I’ll allow the journey to be in silence.
And I’ll breathe. I’ll follow my breath until it is steady and sure. I will follow my breath until I know I am still enough, quiet enough, to hear. To know.
I ask for my ancestors to join me with all of their stories and all of their histories. I make space for time to be what it needs to be. I make way for possibilities and presence.I wait. I don’t always have images that come to me. Sometimes it’s just feelings and sensations and words that arrive in scattered ways. I trust that I will remember what I uncover. I trust I will take back what needs to be known at the moment.
I rest in this space, trusting all of my intuition and body senses. The tingle of skin, the deepening of breath, the opening to unexpected.
I can sense the emotions and beings. Sometimes they arrive full and detailed. Sometimes they arrive quiet and timid. Sometimes they arrive as messages and advice. And sometimes they simply hold my hand.
When the feeling that I feel when I walk with my ancestors begins to fall away, I make room for any other questions I might have. I offer any blessings that feel appropriate. I promise to return to listen.
I slowly come back from timeless time into the present moment. I shake my body, take a deep breath, and reach for a journal to collect what I now know.
I thank my ancestors. I sit in the silence. I blow out the candle.
Sometimes I arrive back with knowledge. Sometimes I come into my body with more wondering. Sometimes, I just feel at peace because I’m not disconnected anymore.
Thank you nameless ones.
Thank you blessed ones.
Thank you for your beauty and your ugliness.
Thank you for the ways you brought me to where I am and thank you for holding my hand as I move into the next timelines.