My youngest is preparing for Confirmation.
I remember deciding upon my patron saint and preparing for my service project. The Holy Spirit has always been a good friend to me even before I received this sacrament. Having watched this happen multiple times, I’m still surprised at how much I look forward to this moment for them, when they take their first step into adult faith life.
The person in charge of the program asked, “What do we want for our children?” So I thought about it. I want them to embrace the faith so much, it becomes more of an identity than anything else –before their names, before their jobs, before their degrees or talents or interests.
I want Catholic to permeate every aspect of who they are.
We spend the first thirteen to fifteen years teaching, witnessing, praying for, praying with, and seeking to introduce God to our children.
It is at this point, when they stand before the Bishop, that they begin the reality of living their own faith, of taking steps on their own to move towards God.
I must pray for good friends, for teachers that hear and answer questions, and priests that speak to their hearts.
Going to adoration, I found myself before the Eucharist listing all the people I want Mary the Blessed Mother to take care of, and all those I assign to Saint Joseph. Eventually, I find myself talking to Christ, and wondering why I put off going to adoration, particularly if I want my relationship and all of theirs to be so encompassing. I discover how weak my will is when I fast, and how poor at prayer my soul is, when I seek to pray.
Sometimes God is subtle with me. Other times, He uses a sledge hammer. As I sat reflecting on what I need to do, an email from a student popped up –asking how to improve the grade. The first thing I wrote to the individual was, “Come to class.” and immediately heard God saying, “Show up.” I’d added that she’d understand more if she were fully present for the explanations and the assignments. And I heard God saying, “You too.” I typed on, explaining what needed to be done and knew God was using this student’s request to remind me, the first thing I must do, is show up more.
It brought me back to thinking about confirmation and all the years since then. I have strong and weak seasons of prayer, of devotion, of learning, and of understanding. Life requires we persist through the fallow seasons of our prayer life, and learn to plunge deeper when it feels fruitless. Offering the dry spells is a rich gift to our Lord. Offering when we don’t feel like it, is the surest sign of our love of God, more than ourselves. The movie “A Knight’s Tale” was on, and again, I felt God using a sledge hammer on my soul.
God loves to make sure I know, He’s listening, and He expects me to do the same. Every step of life is a step either towards God or away. It’s always been so –even before Confirmation. Lastly, if I had any question about what God was saying, my writing coach posted about how one must write even when not inspired, and perhaps most especially then if one would be a writer –and the same is true of prayer and a relationship with God.
He arches everything.
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