CHICAGO, IL – Local, nominal Protestant, Charles Hoffstentter is reported to have confused famed Protestant Reformer, Martin Luther, with the leader of the African-American Civil Rights Movement, Martin Luther King Jr.
On Hoffstentter’s Facebook page, he took to posting pictures of MLK with quotes from the famous Reformer, with the accompanying title in all caps: SEMPER REFORMANDA! One such quote emblazoned above a picture of MLK’s infamous speech, I have a Dream, were the strong words of the reformer in his written treatise Against the Roman Papacy, an Institution of the Devil: “The very devil himself would thank you for such an event, and no one but the miserable devil and his devilish scum would go there.”
While it is not altogether clear whether the Reformer would have directed such virulent attacks against the civil rights leader, this has proved to bear disastrous consequences for Hoffestentter, who has not only offended several within the Reformed tradition, but virtually everyone, given his painful ignorance of church history, social justice, and that he betrayed a lack of general human decency.
UPDATE: Since the appearance of this article, we have been informed that Hoffstentter has lost his job, faced several death threats, and his wife and children have moved into protective custody after what can only be described as a bombastic barrage of insults from Charles. It appears that when his wife sought to correct these mistakes and point out that the two respective men were indeed different people, he misunderstood that she was departing to Roman Catholicism. His last words to them are again, a direct quote from the reformer in another work of his titled Against the Heavenly Prophets: Take care, you evil and wrathful spirits. God may ordain that in swallowing you may choke to death.
It is unclear how Charles has such a working breadth of knowledge when it comes to quoting the reformer whilst maintaining such a painful, historical ignorance.
Editorial Note: This post, like all of the other posts in the Satire section of our webpage, are fake and exist to you make you laugh.