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Christian Piatt

Church Sign Epic Fails, “Ugly Relatives” Edition

Last updated on: January 26, 2014 at 4:33 pm

January 26, 2014 by Christian Piatt

I walk into church and, all of a sudden, the Queer Eye guys jump out and start giving me a makeover! That Carson is such a character…

ugly relatives — Every time junior get another mohawk haircut, he makes Jesus cry.

hot girls — I suppose it’s better than a church full of ugly relatives.

jesus touching — It’s even worse when he gets, like, an inch from you and does the whole “I’m not touching you” thing. No annoying.

ladies retreat — Well if you kept touching me all the time, I might too.

no clothing — Ahh, well this does help explain the touching thing.

sex addict — Again, with the touching…geez.

primitive — The reason they only meet once a month is because it takes the other three weeks to get the name right. And “predestinarian?” I’m. calling B.S.: that sounds totally made up.

January 22, 2014

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