12 Questions to Consider Before Divorcing

Almost everyday, I talk to someone whose marriage is in crisis. They often feel desperate, exhausted and alone. It’s a heartbreaking scenario when the dreams of “Happily Ever After” are crushed, and in the midst of all the pain and confusion, it is nearly impossible to think clearly about what next steps to take. We created our program at FightingForMyMarriage.com specifically to help these couples in crisis find hope through practical support and solutions.

What do you do when you find yourself in a marriage that feels hopeless? People who choose to get divorced have often endured years of frustration and exhaustion, but the problem is, we tend to make our worst decisions when we’re exhausted and frustrated. These twelve questions below can help you approach these major life decisions with more clarity and perspective.

Here are the 12 questions to ask BEFORE getting a divorce or separation (in no particular order)…

1. Are my frustrations with my spouse (at least in part) the result of my own lack of tenderness, investment and/or concern for him/her? 

Couples don’t wake up one day with a miserable marriage. It happens slowly over time. There are many factors that can contribute, and it’s easy to blame each other, BUT the only part of the marriage you can control is your own part. Have you consistently tried to bring out the best in your husband/wife or are you always pointing out flaws? Do you brag about your spouse or nag about your spouse? Sometimes our own thoughts and the tone of our own words will shape the tone of our marriages. If you’ve been failing in this area, it’s not too late too create new habits. Instead of starting over with someone new, consider a new beginning with the one you already have.

#2 might step on some toes, but it’s a vitally important question…