5 ways to be an “attractive” husband

5 ways to be an “attractive” husband November 5, 2015

couple holding hands beach

Men, I’m going to let you in on a little secret…Your level of “attractiveness” to your wife doesn’t have all that much to do with your physical appearance. Sure, she would appreciate it if you took care of yourself and made some effort to look (and smell) nice, but those are probably not the most important factors to her. You don’t have to look like one of the guys from Magic Mike or have six-pack abs to be the man of her dreams. You just need to do these five things…

You will be incredibly attractive to your wife when you…

1. Take the time to be a good dad.

If you have children, taking the time to be an attentive and thoughtful father will do more to make you “attractive” in your wife’s eyes than nearly anything else. You don’t have to be a “perfect” dad (because there’s no such thing), but you have to be present and you have to be consistent. For more on this, check out my popular post on The 5 things your kids will remember about you.

2. Help out around the house.

Statistics show that even in situations where both spouses work full-time outside the home, the wife usually still ends up doing the majority of the work around the house. Men, when we will roll up our sleeves to help around the house, your wife will take notice. Who knows where those chores might lead! Think of “Chore-Play” as a form of foreplay!


3. Continue to pursue her.

When you were first dating your wife, you were probably doing thoughtful and romantic gestures all the time, but as life goes on, the pursuit probably slowed down. Your wife still wants and needs your continuous pursuit. She wants you to tell her she is beautiful. She longs for spontaneity and adventure with you. Find ways to keep showing your love, affection and pursuit of her heart in every season of your marriage.

Dave Willis quotes davewillis.org quote consider your spouse in every decision


For more ways to stay connected to your wife an invest daily into your marriage, you can download our new MarriageApp on iTunes by clicking here.

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4. Give her your best; not your leftovers.

As men, we can be tempted to give the best of ourselves to our careers or hobbies and then give what’s left over to the people who matter most. When you will choose to consistently give your best to your wife by investing time with her, listening to her, serving her, protecting her and encouraging her, you will be much more attractive in her eyes than you could imagine.

Dave Willis davewillis.org marriage quote

5. Be open and honest with her about everything.

She wants to know what you’re thinking. She wants to engage with every part of your world, so let her in. She feels deeply connected to you and attracted to you when she knows she can trust you completely. Don’t hold anything back from her. Don’t have secrets or passwords she doesn’t know. Secrets sabotage marriages. The level of your trust and communication will ultimately determine the level of your marriage.

For more tools to help build a thriving marriage, check out my new book, “The Seven Laws of Love: Essential Principles for Building Stronger Relationships”


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  • GaMomof5

    I agree 100%!! How do I convince my dear hubby that he doesn’t need plastic surgery? His brother has teased him about one feature all his life. I think it’s ridiculous, and say so all the time. Unfortunately, the words fly over his head!!
    He can’t see that his bro cannot remove his ugliness via plastic surgery!
    I love him just the way he is, and don’t see any flaws. Help!
    Beauty is skin deep, but ugliness goes clear to the bone.

  • Pastor Carlos

    The reason he may not hear you is because of the word choices you use. For example:
    Saying that plastic surgery is ridiculous because you love him and don’t see any flaws admits that you see his flaw and are just ignoring it because you love him. If you want him to keep this so called “flaw,” you need to be direct and clear.
    Tell him his feature is not a flaw and that you like it. Tell him you find him attractive because of it and that if he loses it he won’t be as attractive.
    Next time his brother talks bad about the feature, rebuke him for it. Tell him you like the feature, that God placed that feature on your husband for you. Then clearly tell the brother that you will hold him personally responsible if his brother loses that feature and you will make him pay dearly for your loss. Then they will get the picture.
    (You could also use Jennifer Grey’s story as an example. She thought her nose was a liability to her career and so got plastic surgery to fix it. Only then did she discover it was what made her unique and she should have never gotten the surgery.)

  • GaMomof5

    I rarely see his bro, but he talks to him often. We see them every few years. It’s ironic that hubby talked me out from my sis’s teasing about my nose years ago. He even took photos one year to show me my profile, and how cute I was in comparison to my siblings.
    I think the issue is more about the messages we hold from childhood, even if they aren’t true. He knows he’s perfect in my eyes (as his spouse), in God’s eyes, and to our children. The kids have this feature, but he doesn’t seem to think it’s a detraction for them. It’s just something that comes up out of the blue occasionally.
    If anything, I’ve used the pain this causes to teach our children kindness, empathy, and the problem with bullying behavior.
    Thank you for your insight. I’ll work on this.

  • Pastor Carlos

    I pray things work out. God bless you and your marriage.