7 ingredients that make a Happy Marriage

7 ingredients that make a Happy Marriage February 27, 2013

There are 7 vital ingredients to a healthy, happy marriage. I’ve seen too many couples overcompensate with an extreme focus on a few of these ingredients to make up for the fact that they’re missing something. It’s like trying to bake brownies and following the instructions perfectly, but leaving out eggs or sugar. Even if everything else is perfect, if even one ingredient is missing, it’s  still going to taste funny!

Let this recipe for a healthy marriage be a checklist to help you build the marriage of your dreams. The good news is that is that even if you’re missing some of these, you can still get them! None of these are out of your reach.

finger puppet in love

Photo courtesy of ShutterStock.com. 

For a healthy, happy, vibrant, fun, exciting, encouraging, rockin’ marriage, you’ve got to have…

1. Laughter.

Laughter needs to be the soundtrack to your marriage. In good times and bad, you’ve got to be able to laugh with your spouse. A marriage with no laughter is a sign of a marriage in deep trouble. Find reasons and ways to laugh together.

2. Communication.

Between the two of us, my wife and I have 3 higher education degrees in Communication and we still have to work at communicating well in our marriage (like with most things, she’s a lot better at it than me). It doesn’t come naturally for anybody! Remove the distractions, turn off the electronics and talk. For more insight on this, please take a minute to watch our short video your iPhone might be hurting your marriage.

3. Sex.

Right now, all the guys are thinking, “Why wasn’t this number one?!” Sex is vital to a healthy marriage. It’s a God-given gift to promote oneness, intimacy, and pleasure (in addition to procreation). Make sex a priority. If things are healthy in the bedroom, everything starts getting healthier. For more on this, check out our video on How to build intimacy and trust in marriage.

4. Friendships.

In to many marriages, the wife has her set of friends and the husband has his and they rarely or never connect socially. You need “couple friends” that you share together. My wife and I have always had a Small Group through our church and those relationships have been a great source of laughter, joy and encouragement for both of us.

5. Goals.

Couples shouldn’t just plan together, they should dream together. Without common goals and dreams for each other and for your family, you will be like a ship without a compass. Dream big and help each reach those dreams.

6. Celebration.

When goals are reached or milestones achieved, spouses should celebrate together! Your marriage should be full of moments of celebration. Celebrate together privately and find ways to celebrate life’s victories and moments with your extended family and friends. Even in life’s toughest seasons, there are still plenty of excuses to have a party!

7. Faith.

If these were in order of importance, Faith would easily be at the top! God invented marriage and without Him, I’m convinced that no marriage can be what He intended it to be. Pray together, study God’s Word together and allow Him to direct your paths. He is the one who can hold you together even when the world feels like it’s falling apart.

For more ways to build a rock-solid relationship, please check out our bestselling book: iVow: Secrets to a Stronger Marriage which is now also available for download on iPhones and iPads.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • brian c

    trust is very important i think this goes with hand in hand with communication i have been an addict for some time now for reasons before i meet my wife inever full trusted her but she never gave me a reason not to over 15 years she has been the greatest wife and wounderful mom and becasue of my addiction i burnt any trust facotrs she knows how good and straight of a man i am when doing the right stuff but when in addict mode well and addict is and addict no matter what you are hooked on it is all the same porn to crack to pills the addiction is what is causing in the family just how Jesus says sin is sin not one bigger or smaller same with addcictionbut in this there NEEDS to be communication and build up of trust

  • Thank you so much for all the insight on ways to keep a marriage strong. I love my Husband, he is my best friend. I agree that laughter, communication, intamacy~sex, friendship, goals, celebration and faith are all so important in a marriage and can be possible for every couple.

  • Dawn

    I believe in every marriage the first thing you should have is Love. Love never fails! 1Cor 13

  • Great list! This is what I pray for!

  • Brianna

    Trust is a great thing as well to have.

  • Financial Security as well as Honesty and Trust

  • Mandi

    Forgiveness/understanding are also vital in my opinion!

  • Loving it

  • Jamie

    I agree that love is #1. I also think sharing – good things and bad – is very important.

  • Nancy

    COMMITMENT.My husband & I have been married almost 40 yrs. Every day we remind each other that we are stuck with each other & love it. Commitment gets you through the rough times.

  • Fanny

    Love and respect! They are very important. Thank you very much.

  • Heather

    Implementing these into my marriage. Some we have, some we need to learn. I love my husband. We have been through so much together. One is a constant in our marriage and that is us wanting to honor and glorify God through each other

  • Sue

    I agree with all of your points here but in my marriage we do not have the same goals and it is tearing my marriage. I am 10 years older than my husband and I had children in my early 20’s. I am now 45 and my husband is 35 and he has never had children but wants children now. He knew that i did not want children when we got married but now he is threatening to divorce me if I don’t agree to have children. How do you strive for the same goal when we clearly are not wanting the same thing.? I love him and I don’t want a divorce but he has a goal he wants to achieve and if I do not agree to that goal he wants a divorce.

  • a guy

    What if for number 3…your wife doesnt want it..says its not important to her. I feel like its important for our marriage, our bond, but its hard not to sound like a “dog” of a man when i try to bring it up..we hit good on all these for the most part except that one…we used to right when we got married but now its a month at a time…I have communicated it is an issue to me…but that gets me nowhere…any advice lol…I love her more than you can imagine and would do anything for her.