7 reasons why marriage still matters.

7 reasons why marriage still matters. February 28, 2014

As the founder of the Facebook Marriage Page and as a Pastor, I’m an advocate for stronger marriages, but I’m seeing an alarming trend of people who look at the whole idea of marriage and say, “What’s the point?”

More than ever before, people are avoiding, redefining and marginalizing marriage. Some of the doubts are probably fueled from legitimate reasons like astronomical divorce rates, the social acceptance of couples’ co-habitation and a lack satisfaction among many long-time married couples, but the truth remains that marriage matters more than we could possibly comprehend. Below I’ll list just a few of the reasons why. I hope these insights help you rediscover the timeless beauty and significance of the gift of marriage.

wedding day

Photo courtesy of ShutterStock.com.

A few of the MANY reasons why marriage still matters:

1. There is no real love without real commitment.

Love, by it’s very nature, is not a “feeling” but a commitment, and marriage is the perfect expression of that commitment. Marriage is part of God’s “Master Plan” for healthy, happy families and it provides a foundation of commitment anchored by love which can weather the storms of life.

2. It actually makes you healthier (most of the time).

Statistics across cultures have found consistent trends that those in longterm marriages are more likely to live longer and have fewer health problems than unmarried couples and singles.

3. Marriage provides the foundation for a civil society.

Since the dawn of world civilizations, societies with a strong commitment to monogamous marriage have been the most successful people groups. When marriages are strong, families are strong. When families are strong, societies are strong.

4. Marriage provides security for the husband, the wife AND the children.

There is a security within the covenant of marriage which provides an element of protection (financial, physical, emotional and spiritual) for the entire family.

5. Marriage mirrors our relationship with our Creator.

The Bible teaches that the intimacy, unity and sacredness of the marriage bond reflects that type of relationship God wants to have with us. Specifically, this paints a picture of Christ and His church (people).

6. Marriage unites a community.

The wedding ceremony is a time-honored tradition which provides a consistent point of celebration uniting the broader community, but even beyond the wedding day celebration, marriage itself enriches and unites the entire community in unique ways.

7. Marriage makes love make sense.

Every love story ever written and every love song lyric ever sung have, at their core, expressed a beautiful longing which can’t be completely fulfilled or perfectly expressed outside of marriage. Sure, you could have sex without marriage, but sex is all it would be. Within the covenant of marriage, making love creates a physical and spiritual oneness between husband and wife.

Marriage is a gift only God could have created, and trying to give full expression to love without God’s gift of marriage is like trying to fill our lungs without oxygen. Marriage isn’t outdated and it never will be. Whether you’re single or married, I believe we should all respect the countless benefits and celebrate the timeless beauty of marriage.

For tips and tools to build a rock-solid marriage, please check out our (now FREE) video teaching series on The 4 Pillars of a Strong Marriage and our bestselling book: “iVow: Secrets to a Stronger Marriage” which is now also available on iTunes as an ebook download on iPhones, iPads and all Apple devices.

For daily encouragement, connect with me on twitter by clicking here.


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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Thank you for really making a difference in the fight to keep marriages strong and healthy. We are always trying to help people when marriage gets difficult and love seems like it is fading. I love that you say that love isn’t a “feeling” but rather a commitment. It seems easy to forget that marriage isn’t about making me, me, me happy but rather it is about helping both people become holy and happiness is just a product of becoming holy. It’s about looking outside of ourselves. Great work to both you and Ashley! Thanks again!

  • Shawn Means

    I have been married a short period just about 8 months. I was 7 months pregnant when we got married and it was a pretty spur of the moment choice driven by us not wanting to continue living in sin and me being pregnant.. It seems your blog most days is the only thing that holds me together.. As a new mom and wife, it is hard to try and figure out how to juggle all that comes with that. I wish I could get my husband to realize the commitment he made when we got married.. not only to me and god, but a commitment to raise our baby together. The weekends come around and it seems his one and only concern is playing his video game. After 8 months of this I have lost hope and contemplate divorce more and more often. I don’t know if fighting for a unhealthy marriage or being a single mom would be harder. Or if it is even love I am fighting for anymore.

  • Jacque Replogle

    I believe in marriage. I read all the posts written here and they all make sense. I have yet to read any advice on SECOND marriages involving ADULT CHILDREN that still depend (financially) on one of the spouses… How does the couple learn to discuss and or agree on that? It’s a battle in our home, and I always lose.

  • Felicity Duran

    In my opinion, adult children should not be relying on you financially or in any other way. I believe it also has nothing to do with it being a first, second, or any other number of marriages. I believe children should be raised up to be responsible and self sufficient. If you are struggling with adult children needing finances still, my advice would be to cut them off. Enabling the behavior is never going to teach them to be responsible.

  • Thank you for this post. It brings my heart joy to see marriage being spoken about for all the RIGHT reasons. There is so much scrutiny about marriage out there and I often that people jump to the ‘warnings’ of marriage, rather than celebrating the wonder of it!

  • Thank you for writing this. I have always wanted to get married, and actually have it last forever.My parents have been married for 47 years this year, but for me, it seems I have not been lucky when it comes to love.

    the one relationship that lasted for 3 years, which i actually thought would last also ended. It was pretty devastating, but I haven’t completely given up on one day getting married.

    thank you for this article!

  • Jaq

    I have to wonder whether you yourself were 100% financially independent at the age of 18 and, if so, if you were truly in a healthy position, or really as responsible as you think you were.
    I lived with my parents during college, not because I was irresponsible, but because it was the responsible thing to do. I helped my mom cook and clean (at that time my grandmother was ill, so often while my mother was taking care of her I was making dinner at home), worked part time, maintained a 3.7 or higher GPA. I was also active in a young women’s Bible study. If I hadn’t been responsible, my parents might not have allowed me to live at home.
    I’ve been living abroad, working full time, going to grad school and saving money for the last 3 years. My parents have invited me to live at home rent-free when I move back to my hometown later this year. How does taking them up on this offer make me irresponsible? What a stupid idea! Wasting money on rent when I could be living at home with my parents, helping them around their house, enjoying time with them, and saving up to buy a house is what would be irresponsible.
    It is incredibly rude, judgmental, and inaccurate to assume that adult daughters and sons who live with their parents are irresponsible.