7 things to do when your kids disappoint you

7 things to do when your kids disappoint you May 26, 2015

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4. Temporarily remove some freedoms*.

Again, this will obviously look different based on the child’s age and the nature of the offense, but temporarily giving up some freedoms is an important part of the process. When my son broke his arm, he had to wear a cast and restrict his freedoms to allow healing to take place. When trust is broken (just like a broken arm), some freedoms must be temporarily given up to allow the healing process to begin.

*With this delicate part of the process, think “loving correction” instead of “punishment.” When we “punish” we’re often motivated by causing pain because we’ve been caused pain or our pride was wounded. Corrective discipline is still uncomfortable for all parties involved, but it comes from a place of love and a desire for restoration; not from a place of pride or anger with a desire to cause pain.

5. Allow them the opportunity to make it right.

Give your child the opportunity to make amends towards anyone who may have been hurt through their actions. When one of our kids taught the neighbor kid a cuss word, I walked with him to the neighbor’s house and made him apologize for what he’d done to the boy’s parents. It’s was an awkward and difficult moment (for me too!), but it was also a moment of growth and those neighbors gained respect for him, because he was willing to admit fault and humbly ask for forgiveness.

Dave Willis quotes no perfect parents children moments

6. Forgive them.

Let them know that you’re not going to hold this infraction over their heads or use it as leverage or as a way to continuously punish them. You’re forgiving them freely and fully, embracing God’s grace and working with them to restore healing and trust. It often takes time to rebuild trust, but forgiveness can and should be given immediately.

Dave Willis quote quotes forgiveness

7. Pray.

You can’t pray for your kids too much. When possible, pray with your child (out loud) and let you child hear you thanking God for him/her, confessing the sin and embracing the limitless grace and healing God’s love makes possible. Even if your child is grown and out of the house, pray for him/her and send a text message right afterwards just to say, “I’m praying for you. I love you. I’m so thankful to be your Mom/Dad.”

For daily tips and tools to help you build a stronger family, you can connect with me on twitter and also connect with me on Facebook by clicking here.

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