Have you ever come to a crossroads in your life where the road behind you is full of disappointment, the road ahead is full of uncertainty and you’re not sure which way to go next? My friend Alice found herself there recently. Her journey and her faith has inspired me and she has graciously and courageously shared her story below as a way to help others. Her words will touch your heart and challenge you to see your own struggles with a new perspective.
Guest Post by: Alice Metts
I am a 39-year-old believer in Christ. I grew up in the church and have known Christ intellectually since I was a child. I have spent much of my adult life seeking to learn more about God in my actions and through bible study, but my story is not about any of that. My story is about finding Jesus on an emotional level. Oh, what a blessing life becomes when Jesus becomes your best friend. What an amazing and wonderful Savior we have. One that promises never to abandon us and to love us unconditionally no matter what our past is.
I will tell my story for the purpose of giving glory to a God who can use all circumstances for the good of those who trust him. Looking back on my life I realize that much of my bible study and actions done were motivated out of fear. I have spent so many years focused on how others perceived me and focused on what I am not. Always concerned about how to please others. I grew up with deep seeded insecurities of not being good enough. I spent my whole life in church but never really understood God’s grace.
I was 32 when I met the man who would become my husband. He was divorced with two kids at the time. I immediately clicked with him and both kids. During our dating relationship, my husband told me he had done life his way and was ready to do things God’s way. I took him at his word and a year and a half later we got married.
We had discussed my desire to have children prior to marriage. We decided to try to have a child soon after we got married. We agreed to seek treatment for infertility about two years into the marriage. We did five months of infertility treatments. The second month I did get pregnant however it was an ectopic pregnancy and we lost the child. At the end of the infertility treatments I was sad and tired. The process of infertility treatments had taken their toll on me. My husband and I decided to stop seeking treatment and I began the process of acceptance.
Then my life came to a complete stand still. About three weeks after finishing infertility treatments my husband told me he was unhappy being married and that he was not sure if he was the marrying type. My world felt like it was crumbling. That night I went to my closet and fell on my knees. That is when I met Jesus on an emotional level. I can’t even describe the peace and comfort I felt in that moment. It was absolutely life changing. The rest of this story is about how an amazing God has shown up in my life and how He is transforming me and meeting my every need in my brokenness.
As I write this I have been separated from my husband for 11 months. I miss my step kids and am grieving the loss of being part of their everyday lives. I love them very much and thank God for the opportunity I had to have been in their lives. My husband tried to stay and we went to counseling for a season but in the end, he decided to leave. My story is about some of the lessons God has chosen to teach me in and through these circumstances.
HERE’S WHAT I LEARNED…