It’s common for one spouse to have more drive than the other. This issue, like most issues in marriage, can be improved through communication and both spouses being willing to work together to serve each others’ needs. There could also be medical and/or hormonal issues that could be addressed with your doctor. Sometimes the solution is as simple as a hormone treatment or more physical exercise to increase health and libido.
There are other times when there’s still a huge divide between one spouse’s sex drive and the other’s. In these situations, look for ways to serve each other’s needs. Don’t put your spouse in the position of living with constant sexual frustration. It will eventually harm the marriage. You might say, “But I don’t feel like doing it.” If we only do the things we feel like doing, not much would get done. In fact, we’d probably all be divorced, because there will always be moments when we don’t “feel” like being married.
Sometimes, giving your spouse a “quickie” might make a huge difference to them and it doesn’t require a huge amount of effort on your part. I’m not saying one spouse should be able to use the other as an on-demand sex doll or anything like that. What I am saying is that a healthy marriage requires two people so focused on serving each other’s needs that everyone’s needs are being met in the process. You might also find that the more you do it, the more you’ll actually start wanting to do it!
5. I’m having a difficult time reaching orgasm. What should I do?