When Your Spouse Disappoints You

The Bible famously says “Love never fails,” (1 Corinthians 13:8), BUT the problem is that the people we love DO fail (and so do we).

No marriage is perfect, because no person is perfect. If you’ve been married longer than a few days, I’m confident that your spouse has done something to hurt your feelings (and you’ve hurt his/her feelings too). Sometimes, these hurts can be small and seemingly insignificant; but sometimes, the wound can be devastating and long-lasting. When you’ve been hurt, the decisions you make next have the potential to either promote healing OR to make things worse.

I was listening to a podcast recently and a researcher being interviewed shared a random fact that stuck with me, because I believe it has some huge implications for marriage. He said that when a person is freezing to death with hypothermia, the brain will often misread the signals the body is sending and the freezing person will actually feel extremely hot. They’ll pull their clothes off (doing the exact opposite of what they need to do to survive) and they’ll often die completely naked in the snow.

You might be wondering why in the world I’m sharing this in a blog about marriage, but there’s a point. When we’re in a crisis (physically, emotionally, or relationally), our feelings will often lie to us. If we follow only our feelings in times of crisis in marriage, we might do things to make matters worse and lead to divorce instead of healing. Instead of trusting your fickle feelings in defining moments, I’m encouraging you to follow a proven path towards hope and healing. If your marriage is hurting right now, please take a second to enter your email address HERE to receive 3 free videos in your inbox on how to heal a wounded marriage.

As a quick disclaimer, these action steps listed are meant for married couples living in the same house where there is not physical abuse happening. If you are being physically abused, you need to get help right away. If you feel physically threatened by your spouse in any way, please contact The National Domestic Violence Hotline (which is confidential and free) by clicking HERE.

When your spouse disappoints you, hurts your feelings or breaks your trust (or when YOU disappoint your spouse), please do the following ELEVEN things (in no particular order)…