4 ways to get your marriage out of a rut

I was talking to a friend recently and he was giving me all the updates about his career, his kids and his marriage that he doesn’t share on his facebook and twitter feeds. His social media persona seemed to paint the picture of a perfect life, but behind those picture perfect smiles and online “highlight reels,” his reality was something completely different.

He loved his wife and she loved him, and there hadn’t been any major crisis or anything, but their marriage just didn’t “feel” the same as it used to. As he struggled to put words to his complicated mix of emotions, he finally said, “We’re stuck. I just feel like we’re stuck in a rut and I have no idea what to do about it!”

Can you relate to his frustration? I think all of us fall into ruts in different seasons of life, but it’s crucial that we get out of the rut as quickly as we possibly can. The problem is, just like my friend pointed out, we often have no idea what to do about it! Every situation is unique, so I hesitate to prescribe a “one-size-fits-all” approach, but I’m convinced that the four principles below will help set you free from your ruts and chart a new course towards renewed passion and purpose in your marriage.

1. Admit there’s a problem.

Most people who stay in a rut stay there primarily because they refuse to admit that they’re actually in a rut. Just own it. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed or that you’re heading to Divorce Court or anything like that. It means you care enough about your spouse and your marriage to settle for nothing less than the best marriage you can have. Identify the aspects of your relationship and routine that need improvement and then work together to improve them.