I believe that the two words that have the most power are the simple words “Yes” and “No,” and when and how you use them will have more impact on your life than nearly another factor. Personally, I have a hard time saying “No.” I’m really more of a “Yes” kind of guy, but I’ve found out the hard way that saying “Yes” too often can lead to disaster.
“Dad, can we have ice cream for breakfast?” “Sure! I think I’ll have some too!”
“Dave, can you please take on this big commitment that you don’t have time to do?” “Okay! I’ll find time.”
“Sir, could I talk to you about how purchasing a Time Share could be a great investment?” “Sounds awesome!”
I’ve had to learn the hard way that without a healthy amount of “No’s,” I end up overcommitted, broke, burned out, stressed out and ineffective. Maybe you can relate to what I’m saying. Perhaps you’ve gotten into the habit of saying “Yes” a little too often and it’s time to push the “No Button” a little more frequently.
So, how do we do it? How do we restore balance and healthy boundaries into our life? Here are a few tips that I’m learning…
1. Always take time before committing.
Get out of the habit of immediately saying “Yes” and replace it with “Maybe” or “That sounds like an interesting opportunity. Give me some time to think it over.” There’s wisdom in thinking before committing. A quick decision is rarely a wise decision. Be very slow and cautious to make commitments, but then always keep the commitments you make.
Every time I commit to something, I’m taking time and energy away from other relationship and priorities to do it. Every “Yes” comes with a cost and I need to be intentional and wise about investing in the right opportunities.
3. Don’t Give Excuses.
When I do say ‘No,” I find myself immediately wanting to rattle off a bunch of good reasons why I can’t say “Yes” and might ultimately talk myself into changing my mind. The bottom line is I don’t need to justify my decision. A simple, “Thank you, but I can’t commit to that right now,” is plenty.
4. Remember what Matters Most!
Don’t let too many “Yes’s” redefine your priorities. My Faith, My Family and My Health have to take priority and I don’t want to jeopardize any of them just to appease or impress people. If you don’t set your priorities, someone else will set them for you!
I’m writing all this as a guy who still has a lot to learn, so I would love to hear from You. What have you done to bring balance to your schedule? How have you protected yourself and your family from overcommitment?